Friday, December 14, 2012

Excerpt --

"Perhaps the deepest reason why we are afraid of death is because we do not know who we are. We believe in a personal, unique, and separate identity; but if we dare to examine it, we find that this identity depends entirely on an endless collection of things to prop it up: our name, our "biography", our partners, family, home, job, friends, credit cards... It is on their fragile and transient support that we rely on our security. So when they are all taken away, will we have any idea of who we really are?"

The Tibetan Book of Living and Dying

Monday, December 10, 2012

No regrets


I have always, somehow, found the phrase "no regrets" vaguely disturbing. And I've heard people assert it so strongly, that it was easy to ignore that vague feeling. It's definitely one of those mantras about life that get tossed around so flippantly, and sometimes consolingly - "oh, dont regret anything."

This book I'm reading though, quoted a buddhist poet who said, "My religion is to live --and die-- without regret." That line rang a bell, and made me stop for a second.

Yes, I've done things I regret. And even though eventually life turned out ok, I still regret some of the things I did. So here's a mantra I'm willing to take up -- Not "don't regret anything I did" but instead, "don't do anything I'd regret."

What's it going to be?

Monday, October 22, 2012

The Northness

Look how north I am --

Red line = Seattle
Green line = Mumbai

I'm norther than ANY part of India and most of China.
Comparatively, the latitude I've lived most of my life, is the southern tip of Mexico. Bloody hell.



Sunday, September 30, 2012

Love, by Neelix

"Commander, I don't think you can analyse love. It's the greatest mystery of all. No one knows why it happens, or doesn't. Love is a chance combination of elements -- any one thing might be enough to keep it from igniting. The mood, a glance, a remark. And if we could define love, predict it, it would probably lose its power."

 -- Neelix

Sunday, September 02, 2012

Time to look up. Look ahead.
There's nothing to gather, nothing to take.
Nothing to learn, nothing to break.
Time to be grateful for what stuck around.
Time to say hello to the moment.To now.
Time to be clear. Time to be fair.
Time to stop trying to be somewhere.
Somewhere else but here.


 

Wednesday, August 22, 2012

Excerpt - the unknown

What do I mean when I say "everyone seeks samadhi?" Not just through yoga, the slow, sure, safe and proven method. People seek samadhi through drugs, alcohol, the danger of extreme sports, the romanticism of music, the beauty of nature, and the passion of sexuality. There are a thousand ways, and they all involve the transcendence of the suffering ego in a blissful fusion with an entity much greater than ourselves. When we shed a tear for the two lovers united at the end of a film, or for a character reformed and redeemed, we are expressing our own longing to flee the confines of self, to unite with the greater, to discover through loss of the known, the endless, gorgeous horizon of the unknown.

Light on Life -- B.K.S Iyengar

Tuesday, August 21, 2012

Once again...

No words, no sense flows out of the broken mind.
Conflicting emotions, a roller coaster of turbulence.
A moment of joy, a moment of pain, a moment of real insane.

To pin it together, to pull it together, to rise above
Over the moon and way beyond.
To find once again, where I belong.





Tuesday, July 31, 2012

I need some bollywood.

Monday, July 16, 2012

"The elephant's trunk is six feet long and one foot thick and contains sixty thousand muscles. Elephants can use their trunks to uproot trees, stack timber, or carefully place huge logs in position when recruited to build bridges. An elephant can curl its trunk around a pencil and draw characters on a letter size paper. With the two muscular extensions at the tip, it can remove a thorn, pick up a pin or a dime, uncork a bottle, slide the bolt off a cage door and hide it on a ledge, or grip a cup so firmly without breaking it, that only another elephant can pull it away. The tip is sensitive enough for a blindfolded elephant to ascertain the shape and texture of objects. In the wild, elephants use their trunks to pull up clumps of grass and tap them against their knees to knock off the dirt, to shake coconuts out of palm trees, and to powder their bodies with dust. They use their trunks to probe the ground as they walk, avoiding pit traps, and to dig wells and siphon water from them. Elephants can walk underwater on the beds of deep rivers or swim like submarines for miles, using their trunks as snorkels. They communicate through their trunks by trumpeting, humming, roaring, piping, purring, rumbling and making a crumpling-metal sound by rapping the trunk against the ground. The trunk is lined with chemo-receptors that allow the elephant to smell a python hidden in the grass or food a mile away. Elephants are the only living animals that possess this extraordinary organ."

via  The Art of Looking Sideway

Friday, January 20, 2012

Confessions of a Misfit

I think I've always been a misfit. Such a misfit that I don't even fit among the misfits. And unless you looked really carefully, you'd never think so.

I'm a ordinary looking girl, with a supposedly nice smile and a possibly naive air. Around some people I can talk and make jokes, and around some more, I can listen and laugh. But very few to whom I can talk my mind, and even fewer who actually listen.

And under all that, there's an awkwardness in me, so subtle that most don't feel it, but so strong that I can't shake it off. It's in the way I feel about myself... so deep rooted, that it's in how I walk, how I meet someone's eyes, and how I talk. Not visible enough for people to shun me or mock me. And not strong enough for others to welcome me. But it's certainly there.

There are those best friends though, who are happy and whole enough, to not care about how and what I am, but just have enough room in their hearts to love me. And those are the hearts I miss, here, in the land of lonely, floating souls.

I'm not unhappy with my misfitedness. I think it's part of who I am. But maybe I've not embraced it fully. I've held it and and worn it awkwardly, and I have a feeling that maybe its time to grow into it.

Wednesday, January 18, 2012

Just saying

Star Trek - The Next Generation: maybe about exploring strange new worlds and seeking out new life and civilizations, but essentially, it is about being human.

Tuesday, January 17, 2012

I think I haven't been blogging as much coz I haven't been drinking as much. Kinda sucks. I will try and eliminate the co-relation and just blog more. 

Monday, January 16, 2012

Pinning and Polyvoring

The last few weeks, finally having a desk job again, have led to many hours  spent online and besides the regular means of timepass I've gotten hooked to --
1) 500px
2) Pinterest
3) Polyvore
Here's a set I made playing around on Polyvore. It's pretty damn fun!
A sunny day



Sunday, January 15, 2012

Friday, January 06, 2012

A rusty recap of 2011

This rusty recap of 2011 has been sitting around in my drafts for days, so keeping in line with my resolutions for 2012 (that's another post) I'm going to do what I miss doing a lot--  hit PUBLISH!

In January, we flew up to Seattle to look for a place to rent -- we had decided to move there for a year or two, for career-designed progressions. Packed up our lives into a U-Haul, and drove up to Seattle with our newly adopted puppy, Lily, to be company for puppy No.1, Jolie.

In February, we settled down into a routine -- him going to work, and me, being at home, pursuing my Masters of American Sociology by watching a wide range of reality shows on TV.  It was pretty darn cold in Seattle.

March had my sweet husband buy me a new DSLR and with the hint of spring around the corner, I stepped out to capture naked trees and grey skies. Seattle Daily Picture was born.

In April, I walked around, took the bus, walked the dogs and yearned to earn some USDs while I started my long due job-hunting process. April marked one year since I'd quit Google, I felt rusty and awkward thinking about working and doing interviews again. But armed with my 50mm lens, I chased cherry blossoms.

In May the job hunting continued, and then I applied to a role that claimed to be Account Management/ Client Servicing, and I was offered a position in their "Entry Level Management Program" which I accepted. Because I'd told myself I wanted a job aka ANY JOB. This role, however, turned out to be a door-to-door sales job with the opportunity to grow into your own business in a year or two.

June - I tried to do my best at the sales job. It was hard. Never ever had I imagined that I would ever knock on doors and waving at windows while improvising a sales pitch. I took it as a challenge to, in the least, improve my communication and do something that not a lot of people would. But by the end of the month, the 70 hour weeks yielded very few USDs, and a nasty stomach ulcer that let to me having my first emergency hospitalization (my friend called 911 for me and they came, sirens and all!)

So in early July, I quit. A week later, thanks to Google aka my fairy Godmother, I had a temp job with Google. Google world again! I worked on a secret project with lots and lots of travel and made a nice bundle of USDs.

August, I traveled some more. Let's see - Idaho, Oregon, Minneapolis, Ohio. A week at each place, and 2 weeks at Minneapolis where I spent my 26th birthday working at the biggest mall in the US. And spending some of my new USDs while practicing my newly acquired How To Be A First World Consumerist Asshole skills. So yea, I shopped. Everyday. For ten days. All this while, photography was sidetracked.

In September, I travelled even more. It was hectic, spent barely 2 days home each week, and I missed my husband and the pups a lot. Saved money. Worked 80 hour weeks. Lived out of a carry-on suitcase. Ohio again, New Jersey, Oklahoma, and, hold your breath, ALASKA! Definitely one of the highlights of my year. Majestic majesticology.

October came and after a trip to North Carolina, the travel slowed down. Settled down into a desk job and spent time at home. Ate home-cooked (by the husband) meals and enjoyed the power of Netflix.

November and December are a haze of holiday fun and shopping. We made 3 road trips to California. We spent New Years Eve in Las Vegas with friends and family. And I peed my pants while being sick in the car. And NOT even from being  I guess am not going to forget that soon.

It was a year of learning the ropes, settling down, empowering myself. I dont feel satisfied though... I dont feel like I grew enough, did enough, pushed myself enough.. looked after myself and my happiness enough.

And I feel it in my bones that 2012 is going to be different.