Monday, June 16, 2008
One Small Wish
All I want to do right now, is sit under my desk and read Neil Gaiman's Neverwhere. Am hooked.
Sunday, June 15, 2008
Wind through my hair again
The weather has taken a fabulous U-turn and become glorious.
I'd forgotten the profound joy of being under an open sky at night, and having a strong wind blow through my hair.
Felt weird when I thought about it. Just shows I need to get away from office more often and be out more.
PS- I guess I like the rains here more than the rains in Bombay. The only thing I missed about the Bombay monsoon was the arrival of rains with thunderstorms and lightening. It's electric and magical.
I'd forgotten the profound joy of being under an open sky at night, and having a strong wind blow through my hair.
Felt weird when I thought about it. Just shows I need to get away from office more often and be out more.
PS- I guess I like the rains here more than the rains in Bombay. The only thing I missed about the Bombay monsoon was the arrival of rains with thunderstorms and lightening. It's electric and magical.
Sunday, June 01, 2008
Rockstar baby
In Bombay again, at Mel's. After two intense days of sight-showing in the humid, heat of Bombay in May (no idea why we're doing it.)
It's 2:00 am. The Clash is playing. Rock the casbah.
Kabir, Mel's 4 month old son is asleep in the next room. We spent an hour admiring him, before he was allowed to move to mommy's arms and then to sleep. And a minute ago, I was watching him sleep and I thought to myself - here's a kid who's got it all sorted out. He's so happy and content and chilled out. He knows that right now, all he needs to do is sleep and eat - so that he can grow quick, and that's exactly what he's doing. Not screaming and crying. Sleeping. The rockstar in him.
It's 2:00 am. The Clash is playing. Rock the casbah.
Kabir, Mel's 4 month old son is asleep in the next room. We spent an hour admiring him, before he was allowed to move to mommy's arms and then to sleep. And a minute ago, I was watching him sleep and I thought to myself - here's a kid who's got it all sorted out. He's so happy and content and chilled out. He knows that right now, all he needs to do is sleep and eat - so that he can grow quick, and that's exactly what he's doing. Not screaming and crying. Sleeping. The rockstar in him.
Sunday, May 25, 2008
Boy oh boy
I was walking around last evening and I saw an old man fallen on the ground, obviously not conscious or awake. There were two men standing around him, so although my first instinct was to react in some way, I kept walking by. Went past him. Old man. Those two men didn't seem to be doing anything. Just looking down at him.
The voice in my head nagged saying, 'Yea, you're just like the others. Walking past, doing nothing.' And I thought the old man must have someone who will want to know where he is - who will come to take him home. I turned around, went back, and asked the security guard standing next to him if he knew what had happened. The security guard was very disappointing. (A mall like Hyderabad Central should have better trained and more responsive / responsible security people.) He didn't look me in the eye and muttered something to himself. The second man was happy to talk to me. He gave me a bright smile and said, 'Oh, he's had a lot of alcohol. He'll wake up in a bit and go home by himself.'
I obviously had to do something - just that I had no idea what. I asked if they'd tried sprinkling some water at him. The smiling man smiled and said 'Yes, yes.'
I sat down and tried to shake him. He looked fairly decently dressed. Not like a homeless person. It was hot as hell. Not a nice place to be. No response though, I could barely shake him at all. But, just me being there, and doing something got a crowd gathering. People were looking to see what I was doing, not as much as what was wrong with the old man. I was soon going to run out of ideas - no one seemed to want to check if he had a phone or a wallet.
Super lucky for me though, an ambulance was stuck in traffic right there, (must have been there since before I stopped) but the attention I was getting caught theirs too and they turned to the side and came over. It was EMRI's emergency service, and they pulled over and got a bit of spirit to hold under his nose and revive him. And it worked. By now, a large crowd had gathered and kept growing. I was fairly annoyed, and as the man seemed to be in safer hands now, I left.
Makes me wonder about many things. Anyway.
PS: It's hot as hell today in Hyderabad. I was out all day doing my entrance test to FTII. Which went well, thanks. I had two hours to kill in between two tests, and I went off to a book store and read 70% of an Enid Blyton Famous Five story. Hated to leave it incomplete.
PPS: Saw Narnia last week. Fairly nice, but its feel was so similar to the Lord of the Rings movies, that it dulled it a bit for me. Now waiting to see Indiana Jones!
PPPS: Been on Twitter a lot, and so less blogging. And of course, India Daily Photo.
And Mob Wars.
The voice in my head nagged saying, 'Yea, you're just like the others. Walking past, doing nothing.' And I thought the old man must have someone who will want to know where he is - who will come to take him home. I turned around, went back, and asked the security guard standing next to him if he knew what had happened. The security guard was very disappointing. (A mall like Hyderabad Central should have better trained and more responsive / responsible security people.) He didn't look me in the eye and muttered something to himself. The second man was happy to talk to me. He gave me a bright smile and said, 'Oh, he's had a lot of alcohol. He'll wake up in a bit and go home by himself.'
I obviously had to do something - just that I had no idea what. I asked if they'd tried sprinkling some water at him. The smiling man smiled and said 'Yes, yes.'
I sat down and tried to shake him. He looked fairly decently dressed. Not like a homeless person. It was hot as hell. Not a nice place to be. No response though, I could barely shake him at all. But, just me being there, and doing something got a crowd gathering. People were looking to see what I was doing, not as much as what was wrong with the old man. I was soon going to run out of ideas - no one seemed to want to check if he had a phone or a wallet.
Super lucky for me though, an ambulance was stuck in traffic right there, (must have been there since before I stopped) but the attention I was getting caught theirs too and they turned to the side and came over. It was EMRI's emergency service, and they pulled over and got a bit of spirit to hold under his nose and revive him. And it worked. By now, a large crowd had gathered and kept growing. I was fairly annoyed, and as the man seemed to be in safer hands now, I left.
Makes me wonder about many things. Anyway.
PS: It's hot as hell today in Hyderabad. I was out all day doing my entrance test to FTII. Which went well, thanks. I had two hours to kill in between two tests, and I went off to a book store and read 70% of an Enid Blyton Famous Five story. Hated to leave it incomplete.
PPS: Saw Narnia last week. Fairly nice, but its feel was so similar to the Lord of the Rings movies, that it dulled it a bit for me. Now waiting to see Indiana Jones!
PPPS: Been on Twitter a lot, and so less blogging. And of course, India Daily Photo.
And Mob Wars.
Saturday, May 17, 2008
Thursday, May 15, 2008
Push Button Delete
It's one of those days where I've written a dozen drafts and not published.
It's one of those days where I've got a groggy hangover and get surprised by how low my chair is each time I sink into it.
It's one of those days when I've been hit by one liners that (right now) seem so philosophical and moment-of-truth like, but will soon sound so lame.
It's one of those days when I hate every single word I've ever written on this blog, and want to delete it completely.
I read a story yesterday. Haruki Murakami's story story called 'Man-Eating Cats.' I hate to use the phrase 'I could relate with it', but that's what it felt like. Like it was my story. Or my story to-be. And right now, a flesh eating cat is devouring my mind.
It's one of those days where I've got a groggy hangover and get surprised by how low my chair is each time I sink into it.
It's one of those days when I've been hit by one liners that (right now) seem so philosophical and moment-of-truth like, but will soon sound so lame.
It's one of those days when I hate every single word I've ever written on this blog, and want to delete it completely.
I read a story yesterday. Haruki Murakami's story story called 'Man-Eating Cats.' I hate to use the phrase 'I could relate with it', but that's what it felt like. Like it was my story. Or my story to-be. And right now, a flesh eating cat is devouring my mind.
Friday, May 09, 2008
San Francisco Dairies - Day 2
In retrospection. Day 2.
Woke up and wondered where the jet-lag was. Had been up until 3:00 am, sneaking onto some random wi-fi. Monday. We actually missed the Google Bus to campus and had to take a cab. $40 the very first day. And a Russian cab driver who tried his best to point out the fancy Valley headquarter buildings of Yahoo!, Adobe, Microsoft, and others that we'd already seen twice and could read the names of anyway. Although, it was already unusual to have someone talk so continually and ask so many questions.
Got to Googleplex and rushed off into meetings. Mostly pointless meetings, but what the hell. Had lunch at the famous and absolutely overwhelming Charlie's Cafe. I was honestly relieved to not be alone there. Great food though, stuffed myself with the most-non Indian food I could manage. I was surpised to see some of my colleagues hitting the Indian Cuisine section. Why? Curiosity, maybe... but not on your first day at Mountain View.
We sat on grassy grasses and watched funky, hot, Googlers strutting about, wearing everything from formals to spikey hair and shorts. And of course, pretty girls walking their doggies. Sweet California air. (Those three words, I'm going to repeat a dozen times in this series.)
More meetings and finally a bus back to San Jose. We had no guide today, so we took a cab to the Great Mall, at San Jose, and spent an hour in frantic shopping. That was the part I really hated. I had 45 minutes before the mall shut, and I can't even put a number to the showrooms glittering at me. Shopped a bit and then exited the mall.
Now, the unusual thing is that there's still evening light around at 8:00pm. Which is like a 6:00pm in India. That much light. Which in India means, the night is just beginning, and get ready for traffic, noise and crowds of people.
When I exited the mall at 9:00pm, it was dark, and deserted. No cabs, hardly any people, and cops driving around looking at things suspiciously. Had to call for a cab and wait, and wait, and wait, and realize that all the restaurants in San Jose are likely to be shut already. Walked around, in near panic, and finally found a pita place and ate those enormous servings that they serve in the US.
The girl behind the counter had a dozen piercings on her face, but was friendly enough to help us pick our pitas. A man on the table next to ours was crazy drunk, red in the face, and gulping down his pita. He got up, pushed his chair straight into my colleague - Tasneem's - and stumbled off to the rest room. I was fairly alarmed by his size and obvious state of drunkardness.
After pita, we returned to the hotel, it was really too cold to wander around outside. I was slightly disappointed with the day - didn't see much, not even much of Googleplex, couldnt shop, and everything being shut so early was depressing.
Waiting for the camera, and well, Google conference.
Woke up and wondered where the jet-lag was. Had been up until 3:00 am, sneaking onto some random wi-fi. Monday. We actually missed the Google Bus to campus and had to take a cab. $40 the very first day. And a Russian cab driver who tried his best to point out the fancy Valley headquarter buildings of Yahoo!, Adobe, Microsoft, and others that we'd already seen twice and could read the names of anyway. Although, it was already unusual to have someone talk so continually and ask so many questions.
Got to Googleplex and rushed off into meetings. Mostly pointless meetings, but what the hell. Had lunch at the famous and absolutely overwhelming Charlie's Cafe. I was honestly relieved to not be alone there. Great food though, stuffed myself with the most-non Indian food I could manage. I was surpised to see some of my colleagues hitting the Indian Cuisine section. Why? Curiosity, maybe... but not on your first day at Mountain View.
We sat on grassy grasses and watched funky, hot, Googlers strutting about, wearing everything from formals to spikey hair and shorts. And of course, pretty girls walking their doggies. Sweet California air. (Those three words, I'm going to repeat a dozen times in this series.)
More meetings and finally a bus back to San Jose. We had no guide today, so we took a cab to the Great Mall, at San Jose, and spent an hour in frantic shopping. That was the part I really hated. I had 45 minutes before the mall shut, and I can't even put a number to the showrooms glittering at me. Shopped a bit and then exited the mall.
Now, the unusual thing is that there's still evening light around at 8:00pm. Which is like a 6:00pm in India. That much light. Which in India means, the night is just beginning, and get ready for traffic, noise and crowds of people.
When I exited the mall at 9:00pm, it was dark, and deserted. No cabs, hardly any people, and cops driving around looking at things suspiciously. Had to call for a cab and wait, and wait, and wait, and realize that all the restaurants in San Jose are likely to be shut already. Walked around, in near panic, and finally found a pita place and ate those enormous servings that they serve in the US.
The girl behind the counter had a dozen piercings on her face, but was friendly enough to help us pick our pitas. A man on the table next to ours was crazy drunk, red in the face, and gulping down his pita. He got up, pushed his chair straight into my colleague - Tasneem's - and stumbled off to the rest room. I was fairly alarmed by his size and obvious state of drunkardness.
After pita, we returned to the hotel, it was really too cold to wander around outside. I was slightly disappointed with the day - didn't see much, not even much of Googleplex, couldnt shop, and everything being shut so early was depressing.
Waiting for the camera, and well, Google conference.
Random Thought x 554
I'd rather be the girl with the broken heart, than the girl whose heart breaks everyday.
Maybe.
Maybe.
Random Thought x 239
Not a single photo does justice to what was my week at California.
And I just poured a bottle of water over me to beat the heat. No use.
And I just poured a bottle of water over me to beat the heat. No use.
Tuesday, May 06, 2008
< Interjection here >
I'm back home. After a fabulously eventful week. I will continue the SF Diaries - in retrospective mode. But I'm just taking a few minutes of an 'ass roasting' (my new everyday word) day at work to say:
1. It's hot. Which reminds me that I said the exact same thing one whole year ago. I saw a dozen people eating ice-cream after lunch today.
2. It's good to be back. The only thing that struck me the most yesterday was when I was trying to cross the road and of course, there were about 300 genuine attempts to run me down by cars, buses, and bikers on a busy street outside office. Yea. A drastic change from the US where even if you step off the pavement onto the road, a car 500m away will halt and insist that you cross.
3. Dooce. Was catching up on my favourite blog and I saw this post. It made me think that in a few years, her dog Chuck is going to die. And boy, just that thought tore my heart out. Cause I know what it is like to lose a doggy full of love.
1. It's hot. Which reminds me that I said the exact same thing one whole year ago. I saw a dozen people eating ice-cream after lunch today.
2. It's good to be back. The only thing that struck me the most yesterday was when I was trying to cross the road and of course, there were about 300 genuine attempts to run me down by cars, buses, and bikers on a busy street outside office. Yea. A drastic change from the US where even if you step off the pavement onto the road, a car 500m away will halt and insist that you cross.
3. Dooce. Was catching up on my favourite blog and I saw this post. It made me think that in a few years, her dog Chuck is going to die. And boy, just that thought tore my heart out. Cause I know what it is like to lose a doggy full of love.
Monday, April 28, 2008
San Francisco Diaries - Day 1
Google's ample love for me put me on a crazy countdown, and on a flight to sunny California. Am going to be here for a week - a really short week that's already flashing past.
Flew in with some 50-odd other Googlers, nice flight, saw half a dozen movies and drank beer and wine. All through the flight, it didn't seem like I was really going abroad for the first time, so many familiar faces and all that. And everywhere we stopped -Singapore and Seoul - there were hundreds of Indians there too...
So until I finally landed in SF, got past customs - fingerprints taken - and got out and got my first breath of such sweet smelling and cool air, and saw a few delicately gorgeous pine trees, did it really sink in. I was finally in the city I'd read and dreamed so much about for years.
We're staying at San Jose, at the Hilton, (was slightly disappointed not to find fluffy hotel slippers that 5 stars in India generally provide) but since am not paying a cent/paise, I shan't complain.
Lucky for me, last week we had Google Visitors from Mountain View in Hyderabad - Hendrik and Anthony, and since I took them around in Hyderabad, I insisted that they return the favour to me.
So, we swung into Hendrik's supergoodlooking brand new BMW convertible, and got the best and fairly packed first-day evening in San Francisco.
I must stop gushing.
First, we drove out of San Jose, on the freeway, staring all around and asking ridiculous question, and headed off to a Mexican-Spanish part of San Francisco for some authentic local tacos and melon drinks. Very tasty, and super-cheap.
Next was Haight-Ashbury street - hippieland. The store outside which we parked, had two junkies sitting right outside, rolling joints and greeted us with a Hare-Krishna. Graffitti on the walls, music posters and Tshirts of the legends, absolutely colourful streets. And one really gorgeous fellow playing the violin outside a bar. Quite a few fake hippies, but of course.
Walked around there, and then drove across the city past the beautiful Golden Gate Park, to the Golden Gate Bridge, and caught sunset. Then, drove far over the hills towards a tiny lighthouse we'd spotted. It was pitch dark by then. Driving with the top of the car down, and the radio unexpectedly played my current obsessed-with song - Foo Fighter's The Pretender. I really felt as if the universe was conspiring to make me explode with happiness. Nearly.
We saw two deer by the side of the road. Really rare, said Hendrik. More lucky us.
Boy, going to the light house was totally awesome. The road to it was blocked - it shut down at 3:00pm, but we felt adventurous and decided to walk anyway. It was lovely. Really chilly wind, and stars slipping out, and the ocean lashing at the rocks, and pretty San Francisco glittering at us from beyond the Golden Gate Bridge.
Eventually, we didn't make it to the lighthouse, after a long walk, we came to a tunnel that was shut and we couldn't pass it. But, lovely nonetheless. I was thrilled to have already been to a place that wouldn't really be on a regular tourist's first day (or at all) agenda. Point Bonita - Lighthouse.
Drove back into town, over GGB, and to see the skyscrapers - The Bank of America Building. And then headed to Little Italy - a locality in the city that had lovely cafes and bars and nightlife slinking out.
We went to San Franciso's oldest pub - The Saloon and saw an ancient, but excellent live band. Rock and roll, with a lady saxophonist. Oh, and outside the pub, this really old man asked me for age identity, and happily let me in when I showed him my tattered Indian driving licence.
It was great to go into a pub and not have to drink Kingfisher. Really. I think the bartender (old chap again) was so drunk that he gave us an extra glass of beer. But maybe it was complimentary. Everyone has been extremely nice and friendly so far. Lots of people came up to us - I guess Tasneem and me were probably the youngest in the pub, and Tasneem's colourful burka certainly got her noticed. A few people asked us where we were from. And a lady insisted that I dance with her. She was fairly drunk too, but it was fun anyway.
I didn't want to leave - but considering tomorrow (today, damn it) is Monday, and WORK, and I have to not be jet-lagged. Well, 4 more nights to go in SF, and coming up tomorrow morning, my first glimpse at Googleplex. Someone put me into bed.
Oh, one last thing. I love India. Everywhere I look, I seem to compare to back home, and in most counts, am fairly impressed by what we have. A few problems to solve, but my lovely country is the only place I could live at.
Flew in with some 50-odd other Googlers, nice flight, saw half a dozen movies and drank beer and wine. All through the flight, it didn't seem like I was really going abroad for the first time, so many familiar faces and all that. And everywhere we stopped -Singapore and Seoul - there were hundreds of Indians there too...
So until I finally landed in SF, got past customs - fingerprints taken - and got out and got my first breath of such sweet smelling and cool air, and saw a few delicately gorgeous pine trees, did it really sink in. I was finally in the city I'd read and dreamed so much about for years.
We're staying at San Jose, at the Hilton, (was slightly disappointed not to find fluffy hotel slippers that 5 stars in India generally provide) but since am not paying a cent/paise, I shan't complain.
Lucky for me, last week we had Google Visitors from Mountain View in Hyderabad - Hendrik and Anthony, and since I took them around in Hyderabad, I insisted that they return the favour to me.
So, we swung into Hendrik's supergoodlooking brand new BMW convertible, and got the best and fairly packed first-day evening in San Francisco.
I must stop gushing.
First, we drove out of San Jose, on the freeway, staring all around and asking ridiculous question, and headed off to a Mexican-Spanish part of San Francisco for some authentic local tacos and melon drinks. Very tasty, and super-cheap.
Next was Haight-Ashbury street - hippieland. The store outside which we parked, had two junkies sitting right outside, rolling joints and greeted us with a Hare-Krishna. Graffitti on the walls, music posters and Tshirts of the legends, absolutely colourful streets. And one really gorgeous fellow playing the violin outside a bar. Quite a few fake hippies, but of course.
Walked around there, and then drove across the city past the beautiful Golden Gate Park, to the Golden Gate Bridge, and caught sunset. Then, drove far over the hills towards a tiny lighthouse we'd spotted. It was pitch dark by then. Driving with the top of the car down, and the radio unexpectedly played my current obsessed-with song - Foo Fighter's The Pretender. I really felt as if the universe was conspiring to make me explode with happiness. Nearly.
We saw two deer by the side of the road. Really rare, said Hendrik. More lucky us.
Boy, going to the light house was totally awesome. The road to it was blocked - it shut down at 3:00pm, but we felt adventurous and decided to walk anyway. It was lovely. Really chilly wind, and stars slipping out, and the ocean lashing at the rocks, and pretty San Francisco glittering at us from beyond the Golden Gate Bridge.
Eventually, we didn't make it to the lighthouse, after a long walk, we came to a tunnel that was shut and we couldn't pass it. But, lovely nonetheless. I was thrilled to have already been to a place that wouldn't really be on a regular tourist's first day (or at all) agenda. Point Bonita - Lighthouse.
Drove back into town, over GGB, and to see the skyscrapers - The Bank of America Building. And then headed to Little Italy - a locality in the city that had lovely cafes and bars and nightlife slinking out.
We went to San Franciso's oldest pub - The Saloon and saw an ancient, but excellent live band. Rock and roll, with a lady saxophonist. Oh, and outside the pub, this really old man asked me for age identity, and happily let me in when I showed him my tattered Indian driving licence.
It was great to go into a pub and not have to drink Kingfisher. Really. I think the bartender (old chap again) was so drunk that he gave us an extra glass of beer. But maybe it was complimentary. Everyone has been extremely nice and friendly so far. Lots of people came up to us - I guess Tasneem and me were probably the youngest in the pub, and Tasneem's colourful burka certainly got her noticed. A few people asked us where we were from. And a lady insisted that I dance with her. She was fairly drunk too, but it was fun anyway.
I didn't want to leave - but considering tomorrow (today, damn it) is Monday, and WORK, and I have to not be jet-lagged. Well, 4 more nights to go in SF, and coming up tomorrow morning, my first glimpse at Googleplex. Someone put me into bed.
Oh, one last thing. I love India. Everywhere I look, I seem to compare to back home, and in most counts, am fairly impressed by what we have. A few problems to solve, but my lovely country is the only place I could live at.
Monday, April 14, 2008
Midnight Again
Michelle says, over wine and sun -
We all have kinks. We all love kinks. Something off, something imperfect. Perfect beauty is not easy to live with.
Afrin says -
The stars must shine so much harder to be seen in a city. The survival of the brightest.
Afrin says -
Men are illusions of a woman's needs.
Afrin thinks -
My underlying unhappiness makes me compromise everything I do.
We all have kinks. We all love kinks. Something off, something imperfect. Perfect beauty is not easy to live with.
Afrin says -
The stars must shine so much harder to be seen in a city. The survival of the brightest.
Afrin says -
Men are illusions of a woman's needs.
Afrin thinks -
My underlying unhappiness makes me compromise everything I do.
Sunday, April 13, 2008
Love, from Goa
Bring-aways from Goa -
1. You really know how close you are friends with someone when you travel with them.
2. When you're staring at the sea, and the stars, and you're one with the universe, the universe listens to you.
3. I love Michelle D'Mello.
4. Three Paul Frank Tshirts and a bottle of wine.
5. New favourite song - Foo Fighters' The Pretenders. Thanks, Nigel.
6. Renewed faith in self.
7. Memories of a friend taken away. And a broken heart left behind.
8. Anything is worth it, if you want it 100%.
9. You can tell a true hippie by his silence.
10. Brownness.
11. Ten postcards, and 500 photos.
And a warm happy feeling yesterday when both Nigel and Michelle said that they're having Afrin-withdrawals.
1. You really know how close you are friends with someone when you travel with them.
2. When you're staring at the sea, and the stars, and you're one with the universe, the universe listens to you.
3. I love Michelle D'Mello.
4. Three Paul Frank Tshirts and a bottle of wine.
5. New favourite song - Foo Fighters' The Pretenders. Thanks, Nigel.
6. Renewed faith in self.
7. Memories of a friend taken away. And a broken heart left behind.
8. Anything is worth it, if you want it 100%.
9. You can tell a true hippie by his silence.
10. Brownness.
11. Ten postcards, and 500 photos.
And a warm happy feeling yesterday when both Nigel and Michelle said that they're having Afrin-withdrawals.
Tuesday, April 08, 2008
RIP Aadesh
A wave came and swept me away. The salt filled my lungs. The air got squeezed out of my body. Every inch of me - I couldn't move a muscle. The sea took me, soothingly carried me away.
I thought of the girl on the shore waiting for me. I saw a sunbeam. I died.
I thought of the girl on the shore waiting for me. I saw a sunbeam. I died.
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