Discovering God

The title of this post - is so strange. Reminds me of countless essays/self-help books that I resented and couldn't bear to acknowledge. Strange. Everyday brings a new paradox and a new lesson for me.

But my post is not about self-help or spiritual sermons. It's a story. Such a subtle story, that I'm not even sure it qualifies to be a story. There isn't an ending, yet.

Anyway, I'm still keen to drive home the point of how unexpected this whole discovery of God is to me. Imagine, a 23 year old girl, known to be rebellious, impulsive, whose religions were Harry Potter and Jim Morrison, whose time was occupied at beer clubs, who'd never really had faith in her religion and over time had been convinced that God was just man's need to have faith in something. Yes, that's a fair description of me.

So yes, imagine that girl. Pretty regular in today's world, nothing uncommon. I knew more people like me - regular city folk, leading packed, fun, busy lives. At least, I thought that most people were like that.

But, there's more people who believe in God. In Jesus, and Krishna, and Allah, and Zarathustra, and others in saints like Sai Baba. After my own sudden desire to know more about God, I've seen signs of devotion to God everywhere. Every rickshaw that I see with a sticker of God, or every shop that I see has a small shrine, every restaurant, names of shops, names of buildings, names of schools, names of businesses that have a religious word, fills me with wonder.... How ancient is India's faith in God, and how intense?

But anyway, how can you learn lessons if you know everything?

My outlook to everything religious was fairly conceited. People who went to church I thought as 'goody two shoes' and I was always amused at many friends habits of saying 'God bless' or other references to God in regular life. Now, when I think back, its wonderful to see so much faith in God in so many people around me... Especially people my age... I thought of them as people who were old-school and innocent. Now I know they're much stronger than me.

Anyway, I am grateful to have found my faith in this unexpected way. I didn't grow with it. It didn't automatically pass on to me from my convent schooling or my parents prayers. It came somehow. There's still more to this story... but I think that will have to wait.