Salt on my nose

The irony of it makes me laugh and cry. It's quite amazing how hormones cause you to do both so perfectly at the same time. 

Here I am, saying to myself... I want to dissolve into nothingness.

And strangely, everything I've decided I want to do, is ultimately to do just that. Dissolve, he says. Nothingness, they call it. How can it be so hard? Arrgh.

To do it joyfully seems to be the trick. Intense, but relaxed. Now where is the darned big red button that says - Press Here To Dissolve Into Nothingness.