Afrin

I wish I had time to write more... brief post this one will be. (Work's been crazy... missed lunch twice in a row... but I've decided... that I love what I'm doing now.)

Anyway. Wanted to say -

I've been renovated. Resurrected. Something happened. Something came back. Something I'd forgotten, or had... suspended... a part of me that I thought I'm better off without.

I don't know what did it... maybe it was the effect of many things. And I realized yesterday, when I was feeling oh-so-new, that it was six months to the day since.. all that happened. Some circle ended... 

Basically, I am intensely and madly in love with life and me. Again. Something came back as if it had never been away and fell cosily into a corner... and I hadn't realized how much I'd missed it.

Anyway. That's all folks. Back to the time machine that's sucking my days away. Good night.

PS: 9 days to go. Wow. Time machine flies.

Communion communication

Pinged a few people I haven't in ages.

Facebook wall for some.

SMS for half a dozen.

Couple of phone calls.

Weirdness reigns supreme.

Invented a game on gtalk

(often played)

Let's call each other names. You turnip brain! 

Weirdness on the surface.

Something else within.

Good knight brave night.

Jumble tumble of what's going on

Upsurge, downsurge, insurge, outsurge.

Energies going haywire

emotions coming up

intensity, weirdness.

Its finally building up.

Samayama is about 20 days away.

I'm feeling intoxicated by 

weirdness.

Like I'm stoned.

It's about time.

Am tired of being sick

it doesn't matter anymore.

Eat too much, eat too little

eat too fast, eat too slow.

Can you believe how complicated eating is?

Never thought of it.

Used to be a vada pav for me.

Every morning

cajole myself

gently.

every single morning!

To step into the cold

cold cold

shower.

Looking forward mostly

looking backwards plenty

conflict

but still motion

still progress.

Even if I feel

like am going backwards.

Sometimes sitting is so hard.

Sometimes talking is harder.

Sometimes something

and sometimes nothing.

Thanks for sticking around man.

Magic and Music

Mister Wonder pinged me a song last week. The Circle of Life from the Lion King. It had been so long...

Since then, I've been singing in my head

hakuna matata! what a wonderful phrase. 

hakuna matata! ain't no passing phase!

and today some songs from The Sounds of Music

How do you solve a problem like Maria? 

How do you catch a cloud and bring it down?

and 

the hills are alive, with the sound of music...

and some songs from Oliver!

You gotto pick a pocket or two!

(great video too)

-space-

its a strange tingling

reverberating

with something you can't put a word to.

more intense than magic

more heady than any wine

think of your favourite song

and how it kills you

think of what your stomach feels 

when you're floating kissing someone

think of that feeling

when you're exploding, thrilling

on a mountain top and feeling like nothing before

think of those profound moments of truth

when you know

think of it all, but its not enough

coz I can't explain what it feels like

when i do it right.

Maybe you've seen this before but it's...

...funny. A friend emailed:

The winners of this year's Washington Post's Mensa Invitational -

Readers were to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition:

1. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period of time.

2. Ignoranus: A person who is both stupid and an asshole. 

3. Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.

4. Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.

5. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.

6. Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.

7. Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high

8. Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.

9. Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.

10. Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)

11. Karmageddon: It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.

12. Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.

13. Glibido: All talk and no action.

14. Dopeler Effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.

15. Arachnoleptic Fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've accidental ly walked through a spider web.

16. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.

17. Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you're eating.

18. Frisbeetarianism, n. The belief that, after death, the soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.

Zoozie escapes from cops

"Af, today we ran away from cops! 

Shikha and I were in her car, and we just parked for a minute to go to the chemist and when we came back there was a chain and padlock on one wheel. We'd parked in a no-parking zone. So annoying! And then one man was around, he said that there's a cop who does this often, and that he takes too much money and we should not give him much... So we checked our pockets and only kept about 200 Rs outside, to show the cops when they came... and then this really fat cop came... when I saw him only I thought, oh God, someone loosen his belt! It was so tight that he could barely walk... then he came and muttered something and demanded 400 rupees, we showed him our 150 Rs and told him we were students and this was all we had... but he said that we should make some arrangements and then he went away... and we were like what the hell... and waiting around... he came back in sometime and said.. at least give three hundred.. but we said we only have 200 rupees.. and then he got angry and he was very rude... he gave us his phone number and he said we should call him when we had some money and again he went away... what utter nonsense he was! we called him and told him to come back and let us go at once... and he said get the money... then we just went to the hardware store and bough a hacksaw ... it's no big deal for us.. in college we work in the metalworks lab, so we've used it so many times before... and we started breaking the lock... thankfully it was just a simple padlock... I was keeping guard and an eye out... and Shikha was cutting the lock... we gathered quite a crowd... one small boy was just standing there and staring with his mouth open... and one lady was riding a bike and she also stopped and was looking... and one man started giving us advice.. he said we should put some water.. it would become easier to cut the lock! anything they were saying! then in 5 minutes the lock was cut... and quickly we drove off! it was awesome... and the hacksaw only cost 60 rupees... 

then the cop, he had Shika's phone number.. so after some 20 minutes he called.. we didn't answer only.. I wish I could have seen his reaction when he saw the broken lock we left there for him!... some 4-5 times he called.... and then he started giving missed calls! As if we're going to call him back! When I told mom, she got so worried and said why did you do that? you should have called rusi uncle! but it was so much fun.. as if that fat cop would come running behind us all the way to Loni!

what fun it was, af!"

* Zoozie is the baby sister, who is studying Product Design in Pune.

My local adventure

I was muttering about how I get home late everyday thanks to the terrific traffic from office to home and then Mr. Shuunya suggested that I take the train from the station close to office upto Begumpet, which is a stone's throw from my home.

Following the idea, this evening, jumped into a cab and got dropped off at Hi Tech City Railway station. Never been there before, there were barely any lights, and I got a whiff of typical railway station food smells - a vada pav and bhajjia stall. I inhaled a deep breath of the yummy smell, and followed the steady trail of people climbing over a slopy incline, then over the tracks and to the platform. 

I needed to buy a ticket. The train arrived. I paused. Thought of my options and the possible consequences of traveling ticketless. Seemed ok. Jumped into the ladies compartment. The next half hour was delightful.

My life recently has been limited to Office - Home - Yoga. It was awesome to be in the midst of a crowd of so many people and listen to the chatter, and admire how beautiful Indian women are, and imagine their lives. I thought of it as a taste of what life would be (and will be soon) when I'm not on the lap of Google provided luxuries.

Then came along a lady selling vegetables, I was thrilled to see these oh-so-familiar sights from my many years commuting in the Bombay locals. Her selling call was quite simple and efficient - not like the annoying bleating of the Bombay hawkers. Can never figure what they say. 

I found myself wishing I knew Telugu. Again.

I then stood at the door... enjoying the cool breeze and looking at the places we were passing - couldn't recognize anything... and all of a sudden there was a loud clank! and a fist-sized stone came hurling and missed me by about a foot and hit the train's body. Was a bit of a shock for a moment, and scary. Then imagined what a miserable nook someone had to be in to get pleasure out of throwing stones at passengers in passing trains. It was a weird thought.

I leaned out a bit and let the wind rush through my hair.

Got off at the busy Begumpet station. Wondered if I would be asked for a ticket by a prowling chap.

Stopped by a book stall. Realized I hadn't bought much for myself (except for plenty of bananas) for ages. And I got me a little book that made me smile when I caught a glimpse.

'Learn Telugu in 30 days' it says bravely. And the mission statement of the Publishing company - "By languages we are many, but as a nation, we are one." Rs 25. How could I resist? 

My word for the day is kukka.

Circles

25 years ago, my mommy visited Hyderabad. She went to a particular fire temple with a burning question on her mind, and there she decided - yes, she would marry my father.

24 years ago, one year after that day, my parents were in Hyderabad, for their honeymoon.

For 21 year of my life, I'd never really thought about Hyderabad, or ever imagined living here. Until Google casually dropped in. And I moved to this city, with my first job, and my first time away from home, to make a new home. Hyd really does feel like home now.

This week, mommy is here with me. And we've revisited some of these places, and I get the feeling that here's where the possibility of my existence began. And here's where life is beginning all over again.

Strange circles. 

Anyway, today begins something that leaves me with no more time to think of the past.

when

you

want

to 

reach

up

you

should

stretch

every

cell

Unconditional Love

Definition: mommy.

When you make a phone call home when you're down in the miseries, and mention the nausea and loneliness and the need to be pampered, and she takes the earliest bus and visits for the long-weekend.

So much love.

All the joy in the world is waiting for you to claim it. 

Aargh

Succumbed today.

Felt slightly vain. 

Was impatient during yoga.

Felt the urge to be compulsive.

Stayed up late.

Today = fail.

Right now I feel

Misplaced by time and space.

It feels like a gap.

Like it's this void between... two moments of reality. 

Like I can afford to close my eyes. And forget about gravity.

Coming up

On February 26, 2009, begins Samayama. It happens just once a year. And I'm going.

Samayama: A confluence of the states of dharana, dhyana and samadhi. Referring to the eight day meditation camp offered by Sadhguru where one is tranported to explosive states of meditativeness. Held at Isha Yoga Center, this program is a possibility for those who are willing to shed lifetimes of karma and experience deep states of meditativeness, Samayama and samadhi.

Have been thinking about this for a few months now, and today is the pre-samayama meet, where we will be instructed about the preparation we need to follow for the next 40-50 days before Samayama. Will include diet, and practices.

One of the prerequisites of attending the Samayama program is that one should have completed the basic Isha yoga course, initiated into the Shambhavi maha mudra, and attended Bhavan Spandana program, been initiated into Shoonya meditation, and also attended the Hata Yoga program.

Today, I've finished Hata Yoga which was the last of the programs I needed to attend. I woke up at 4:30 for the past 3 days. Had a cold water bath, and lived on bananas, apples, oranges and dried fruits. 

I feel like I have a new body.

My experiences of each of the program has been unique and powerful. Each time, I experienced something that left me with the sense of 'I never imagined that this would happen, or that this was possible. For me.'  And each program, in a very, very diametrically different way.

The next 50 days are going to be unlike anything before. The core focus of my life is going to be my preparation. And I'm nervous because in one hour, I'm going to be told, in great detail, what this preparation is really going to entail. And I can bet, it's going to take my breath away.

__

Some definitions:

Bhava Spandana Program: Bhava means sensation or feeling, spandana means to resonate, emphatic vibration. This four-day high intensity residential programs is offered as a part of Isha Yoga programs. It is an opportunity to raise one's energy to a higher pitch in the presence of Sadhguru, where participants have the possibility to experience Einstein's theory of relativity: E=mc square, higher levels of consciousness that take one to an experience beyond the limitations of body and mind.

Hatha Yoga: Physical form of yoga involving different bodily postures and practices. Used both as a purification and preparatory step for meditation and higher dimensions of spiritual experience. 'Ha' is sun or heat; 'tha' is moon or cool. Hatha is to balance the positive and negative energies within the energy body.