Why

Ok. Am going to finally start on that long-desired process of writing about my spirituality related decisions and experiences. Right now, am not too sure if I should be doing this at all. But right now, it seems ok. 

We'll start nice and easy. Ready? Ready.

Going back three months, to the point where it all began - I was a 23 year old disaster, not religious - except for worshipping Jim Morrison and Harry Potter, not spiritual except for singing songs to the moon, drinking by the gallon, going all out to experience everything,  and happy to let life take me around on its turbulent ups and downs. Just another regular chaotically confused 23 year old, pretty sure that I would never really figure out life, and continue understanding it from my life philosophies, that I was so good at cooking up.

And then disasters continued, heightened. Something really difficult happened - I was at a point where I didn't want to be anything and didn't want to be at all. That's when I found myself at the Isha Yoga Centre, hoping to get rid of the tremendous pain in my heart, and find a reason to tolerate my existence.

I attended Inner Engineering. 

The Inner Engineering Program, which is the basic program Isha Yoga offers, is a simple, but extraordinary experience - it offers a powerful kriya, called the Shambhavi Mahamudra, the effects of which are tremendous. And along with this kriya, the program brings a 180 degree shift in one's way of experiencing life.

At the end of the 4 days, you're armed to live a fabulous life. Joyous, super healthy, clear thinking, and exuberantly energetic. 

But then they reveal that there is more. And that everyone wouldn't want to seek it... but anyone could. The ultimate. And they tell you it's possible, and within reach. Now, when you've longed and longed to know, and here seemingly in an answer what do you do?

Yoga had won my faith when I read Autobiography of a Yogi. I just didn't think it was possible for me to even attempt. I don't think it occurred to me even. It just seemed like a intriguing out of reach fantasy.

One of my long-lived desires has been to find a way to use more than this 10% of brain-power that we're confined to. I wont forget the day when I came across this fact - that we only use 10-12% of our full capacity. And I was stunned... how can it be? And what could be possible for us if we used even just 10% more? I think it's on my Resolutions for 2008 too. Amazing how these things come around...

So there it was. A possibility. A chance for me to be more than what I was. 

And, it's not just what Sadhguru says. It's what I saw and experienced at the ashram. The people walking around there, if that is possible for them -- then oh, I want to be that. It was an obvious and instant decision for me. I don't want to (or need to) settle for a life of just well being. I'm lucky - I have nothing to stop me from going all the way to find out.

And so, that's why.

Mumbai Marathon 2009

Happy to find that next year's Mumbai Marathon (18 January, 2009) will be support Isha Vidhya -- the foundation's efforts towards empowering rural youth. A simple idea of sparking the natural thirst that children have to know more, instead of stuffing a stuffy syllabus down their throats.

Enough time for me to put on my sneakers and get in shape to run!

PS: Registrations are closed. Looks like I'll just be taking photos, whistling and waving flags. 

Isha at Google

Today was an important day. She and I had been planning/talking/wishing for this day for ages. We'd invited a teacher from Isha to come to Google and talk about the programs offered by Isha.

Our friends knew how much this meant. Sometimes we expressed it... and sometimes we didn't. Couldn't.

Days in advance we planned. We invited everyone. Spoke to dozens. Playfully demanded. Humbly requested. Intelligently drafted. About 60 people signed up.

Today was a blur of energy, hopes and high strung emotions. A few disappointments, but internal.

Everything went off well. About 23 people showed up. It's weird how much inertia gets into people with time.

I spoke for a couple of minutes. Managed to convey about 20% of what I could have. I was nervous. I shouldn't have been.

So, lessons learnt =

It's difficult, but important to not get attached to a desired consequence/result of the activity.
It's better to be involved 100% and be prepared for any consequence, even better, not concerned about the consequences.

Theek hai?

Isha

Hope shines brighter than sunshine - says my dear friend Michelle.

It's true, isn't it?

When I first landed up at the doorsteps of Isha Yoga Center, it was out of a need to become healthy and calm again - my life was going nowhere but downwards. Within three days of being there and experiencing the Inner Engineering Program, I stepped out with a different agenda. My problems seemed utterly petty, in comparison to what possibilities had opened up for me.

Pain, loneliness, confusion vanished, and were replaced by an overwhelming sense of love, hope and infinite new possibilities. And my needs/desires/desperations faded in the background while life around me and everything else became more worthwhile.

And this I see in the eyes of every single Isha I meet. There's more of us that I thought, and I'm thrilled. Each day, a new surpize.

Coming soon, near you. Magic.

Cocoon-ed

I remember Swamy calling me a caterpillar. He wouldn't explain why. I was extremely miffed - he wouldn't tell me what it meant, and I couldn't for the life of me imagine what he was talking about.

Had forgotten all about that until today. It's funny. Read this on the new Isha website.

There is a beautiful story about a caterpillar that lived much of its life believing that it had come into being only to eat and sleep and do what the rest of the caterpillars did. However it was unhappy. Somehow it sensed that its life had another dimension not yet experienced.

One day, driven by a strange longing, it decided to become still and silent. It hung from the branch of a tree, weaving a cocoon around itself. Inside the cocoon, although constrained and uncomfortable, it waited, sensing and aware. Its patience bore fruit, for when the cocoon burst open, it was no longer the lowly worm that went in, but a beautiful, resplendent, winged butterfly which dazzled the sky. It soared and flew, no longer limited to its worm-like existence, but free and unbounded. The caterpillar had been transformed into a thing of air and lightness, magic and beauty.

Once the transformation had taken place, it was impossible for the butterfly to return to being a worm. In the cocoon, the caterpillar had become one with its inner being and in this union it reached its ultimate nature. What happened in the cocoon can be described as yoga. Yoga is the path towards being boundless.

Yoga transforms and liberates human beings so that they can reach this unbounded state. Humans, unlike animals, are not merely existing. They are becoming. To evolve as a human being is to become aware of one's limitations; to strive, with intense passion, towards the transcendence for which we all have the potential.

At BSP

I buried my face in the grass. I was lying flat on my stomach, in the morning sun, in the grass.

I breathed in the smell of the earth.

The last remaining dewdrops cooling my skin.

I heard nothing but the birds.

I didn't need to think. Nothing else existed - no past, no future. No opinions, or emotions, or fantasies. No Afrin.

I was experiencing something new. Something unique - oneness.

The Ishas

Sparkling eyes.

Delirious laughter.

Unconditional love.

Exuberant skipping steps.

Colour colour which colour do you choose!

I have orange hair. My second brave attempt at being red head has also (of course) left me with a full crop of orange hair.

I was at Isha, oh I know you're tired of Isha stories, but this one was funny.

So, I was there a little over a month ago - and I think I hadn't really smiled or laughed for weeks. And there, on the terrace, looking at the stunning mountains, something happened.

We'd just had a Q&A, and someone had asked why Orange seemed to be the colour most associated by the people on the spiritual path - their dressing, shawls, etc, everything was orange. And Swami explained how the colour aided in the spiritual process.

And there, on the terrace, I was thinking about what we'd just heard, and I thought of the endless teasing I'd endured about my orange hair. And suddenly burst out with my first full, joyous laughter in weeks. I love my spiritual orange hair.

One Zero Zero Zero Zero Zero Zero

It's nice to share something precious and magical. I guess I've always longed for a companion to share magic with - and now, the whole scale of what I want to share, and who I want to share it with is infinite!

Pretty much as soon as I came back from Isha, and spoke to people, I spoke a lot about how wonderful it was and how my life had changed and blah blah - and lots of people reacted just as you would expect - they were amused, or indifferent, or had that expression of, 'yes yes, this is a phase and you'll soon forget all about it.'

I don't talk about it that much anymore.

But a few people, who really listen, and who've got a glimpse of what's happening to me, are affected. Slightly. And then a bit more. Inch by inch, day by day, a little more curious. A little more intrigued. A few more questions. Discussions, conversations, and then watching videos of Sadhguru.

Yesterday! (for example) I was at a friend's home with a totally different plan - and we ended up watching a 50 minute long DVD video of Sadhguru and the 'newbies' wholeheartededly declared that Sadhguru is the dude. Am glad.

I was telling someone the other day - I finally have a mission to my life. I'm going to touch one million lives. And change them for the better. Just one million. 1,000,000.

And it's begun already.

Have you ever wondered?

Have you wondered what makes us humans different from animals and the rest of the existence? Do you really know what it is to be human?
-

"What you know as yourself is just an accumulation of impressions and a physical body.

What you accumulate can be yours ... it can never be you.

So what are you?"



or

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5729kne9lrE

- Sadhguru


PS: The video is beautiful. It's the same forest I walked in 24 days ago. The same mountains that took my breath away each morning while I was at Isha. And I will be there in 4 days again.

Sigh.

The God of small details

I was in the Dhayanalinga temple at the Isha Ashram, and I was awed by the stunningly beautiful arrangements of flowers and diyas in front of the linga. It wasn't just flowers scattered. It wasnt just diyas placed haphazardly.

Every flower had been placed perfectly in a design. Every diya in perfect order. A new arrangement everyday. Art.

And the devotee who I saw day after day in the temple, she would lovingly come over again and again to check if the diyas were burning, and would gently spray water on the fragrant flowers.

I was awed. I have never seen such care to details.

And for a moment I wondered if ... it made any sense... was there any point to being so detailed?

But I realized paying attention to details doesn't take that much more time. And it leaves you will a great sense of pleasure for a job well done. Anything hasty or haphazard is just a waste of the entire effort.

And I took this lesson out of the temple with me - when I was walking... I saw the care to details that creation has - the shape of every flower petal, the uniqueness of every sunset, the immense detail of everything living - animals, plants, mountains, rivers, humans! They're only as beautiful as they are because of the delicate small details, isn't it? Imagine if we had been a result of haphazardness or a hasty job. We would have been... ugly.

Result - I clear my room every morning, put things back into their place after using them, and don't do half-jobs anymore. It doesn't seem like a chore anymore.

Progress Report - 02

It's been a week since I finished my first program at Isha Yoga centre, and have been practicing everyday.

People have been laughing at me openly - some amused by the change, and some mocking. But a few seeing it and getting inspired.

The practice that they taught us has many benefits - physical, mental, emotional, and energy balancing. The benefits I'm experiencing already -

1. Physically - getting more flexible, feel more in shape, therefore not lazy or sluggy. Have been waking up early, the day is a lot more productive. My every morning nose cold and sniffling has gone away. Without planning to, I've not had chicken or non-veg food since the ashram. There was a time when I couldn't go a meal without chicken, and now I'm not dependent on it anymore and am relishing fresh food a lot more.

2. Mentally - feel very calm, memory has improved, focus on work is so much better. There was a time when I couldn't sit and do something that needed focus if there was noise or other people. But now I can meditate in a room right beside a racket created by 6 enthusiastic foosball players. Without feeling bothered. I can see things a lot more clearly than before, and my mind isn't cluttered by chaos that much.

3. Emotionally - Focusing on the present - not dwelling on the past, or worrying about the future. It's easier to be happy and relaxed. I've noticed an amazing difference in how I react to people - I don't feel impatient or annoyed. Nor do I care anymore about doing things just because someone else is.

4. Energy - Inner energy is the subtle force that keeps us alive - and is so subtle that we're not even aware of it, while being lost in our pursuits of physical and mental happiness.
I learned how important this energy is and I'm slowly beginning to see the difference yoga is making.

A video from the program

A visit to Isha Yoga Center

A month since my world came apart. And I have an update. Recently, I visited the Isha Yoga Centre, at the Velliangiri mountain foothills. And honestly speaking, I was going for 2 reasons - Sailusha was recommending it highly, and well, from having seen dad do Yoga for many years, I knew it would help me both physically and mentally. And so I went.

I was already feeling stronger thanks to having read 'Autobiography of a Yogi', and all the other changes I was bringing to my life. But, what happened there at the Isha Ashram was unexpected. I expected to learn a few yoga practises, and just have a nice getaway. I wasn't expecting anything close to what I experienced there. Before going I thought I'd already changed a lot - but those changes were miniscule compared to what happened at Isha. I guess the impact was so strong because of the timing - it got me at a time when I needed it the most, and I was most receptive.

I doubt I can describe what I learned and what happened. The program I attended, is the very first of a series of programs designed beautifully by Sadhguru Jaggi Vasudev. A residential program, 4 days in the ashram. The location itself is a reason to go see this place. In a valley, at the end of the road (the road really ends at the village leading to the ashram, and all beyond is only topped always with clouds that look heavenly. There's something in the air there that I can't put a word to.

The ashram is abloom with love and joy. Young people, with glowing faces, engaged in their assigned work (teaching rural kids, handicrafts, making music) all alive to the fullest. Not a single gloomy, tired, impatience, angry face. It was wonderful.

The ashram itself is big, large, and houses a yogic temple - the only one of its kind in the world. I had no idea. But the dhyanalinga temple is unique. There is also a pool of water which contains an energizing power - a linga of solidified mercury immersed in the water. Balances your inner energies, and has healing powers.

My class had about 30 people - a varied bunch, who were there for varied reasons. Some out of curiosity. Some for a holiday. Some looking for a solution to get rid of their lives of stress. There was a woman from Portugal travelling across South India. A 50 year old film-maker, who said he'd accomplished every ambition, had a well settled family - but was still not sure why he was unhappy. A quiet senior couple - who looked orthodox and simple - and by end of class the wife turned into a lively woman who stayed unbeaten the longest in dodge-ball.

For 3 days, we committed to giving our 100% to class, and by the end of it, I saw a change in everyone. Everyone was moved in their own way - everyone humbled, everyone sincerely re-engineered. An internal bath - our guru called it.

A very small glimpse here.

And photos of the Ashram here.