Drunk, etc

Every now and then I get drunk. And today was such a now-and-then. I noted a couple lessons.

After spending a delightful maybe-last-summer-day that involved a fair amount of drunk, I got on a bus toward home. I soon realized that I was incapable of producing an edible dinner, and decided it would be best to get a take-away.

And thus, I stepped into QFC. I walked down the 'Pets and Household Cleaning' aisle and felt the urge to pee. A friendly face in the QFC uniform said, "Down the aisle, and through the doors on the left."

The doors down-the-aisle-and-on-the-left indicated "Employees Only". Hesitating for a moment, I saw another friendly face in the 'see-through' doors and asked him if they restrooms were here. He cheerfully said, "There behind those crates."

That was my first lesson. This friendly face was pushing a large stack of crates on a hand truck. There were many piles of crates waiting for him. I was glad that I wasn't pushing them and felt grateful -- he let me use the bathroom marked "Employees Only -- No Public Use" and also made sure that the box of cereal was waiting for me on Aisle 12. True, honest gratitude as I pushed through the doors into the restroom. I suppose I wouldn't have felt this emotion if I was sober, just focusing on my need to pee.

I guess intoxication gives you that room to be disconnected, and if you allow that disconnect to become awareness, it can be special.

I went back through the aisles, and paid for my pomegranate and butter. While walking out the door another face said, "Have a good day." "You too," I mumbled in my fake-normal voice and wondered why we had to go through that charade. 10 years from now, no -- 10 minutes from now, would my life be any different because of the polite "Have a good day"? That was my second lesson.


PS: I appreciate the polite moments. Earlier today, (when I was sober) I got off a bus and my driver said, "Have a good day now". I felt, hey, this driver actually is proud that she delivered me to my destination safely. Maybe there's a line between the employee who says it because it was in the training manual versus one who says it because they mean it. I could tell the difference.

Celebrating femininity

I read somewhere recently that in all our attempts for equality for men and women, we've really only pushed women to have to be more like men. More ambitious, more aggressive, less willing to let up on her physical limitations. And while this has had the positive effects of giving women a lot of freedom and independence, on another level, this has created an imbalance in the masculine-feminine balance of the world. The qualities of gentleness, compassion, unconditional love, the more feminine aspects of human nature, are overpowered by greed, lust and compulsiveness  And mind you, by masculine and feminine I'm not indicating men and women, but the aspects of masculine and feminine that are in us all.

So, going back to what I was reading, the text said that when the balance of the world tips to being more feminine, that's when our suffering will diminish, that will be the first step toward a peaceful planet and a flourishing, nurturing humanity.

And so I say, let's explore and express the gentle, compassionate, loving qualities in us and in our women. Let's celebrate femininity.

Of cooing babies growing up

Lots of people around me are having babies. Well, not directly around me, but in my social circles, far and wide as they may be. And at the same time, lots of people around me (me included) are pretty, fairly, honestly, lost. Our value systems are eccentric, our ethics are questionable, our priorities are selfish. And so when I think about the next few generations to come, it scares me.

I'm not a parent yet, and while my friends are all turning into loving, giddy-eyed parents, I hope and fervently wish that they take some time to really think about what kind of people they want their kids to grow up to be. Not what professions they choose, or what hobbies they take up -- but some of the deeper stuff. Like how they will treat those less fortunate than them. Or how they will treat the planet when her meager resources depend on the choices they make.

So don't put an ipad in their hands before you put some discipline in their heads. Don't teach them to be cool before you teach them to be humble. Don't expose them to fantastic superheros before you show them some real heros. Give them the chance to grow up knowing that life gives back what you give life. That way they don't grow into confused, superficial people to whom life is about as interesting as the next funny tweet.