Sunday, December 27, 2009

Eyes wide open

Something has changed.

I've spent more time alone recently than I have in a few years. Practically living alone. Passing weekends without talking / meeting anyone. Not feeling like blogging. And when I try to write anything, the sentences are short, terse.

Hardly the flowing, ornate words I used to love spilling out. Suddenly I don't feel like I want to record or share the details about my life. Not because its private or anything, but more because I feel more and more self-conscious. Why would anyone care to read about what I did or saw or thought or am thinking?

Can't remember the last time I wrote a long email either. The rare ones I do write, seem like they've been written by someone else -- almost soulless and void of any sentiment. Strange, haggard.

Anyhow, but I do feel like writing a wee bit today.

Recently went to Bali -- nice weekend, nice beaches, and lots of sculpture on the streets and everywhere. Including penis shaped bottle openers in almost every 'touristy' shop. Pretty scandalous. I bought a bamboo xylophone, about 50 awesome DVDs and a dragon kite.

Today I was in a bookshop (Landmark is easily 20 times the size and collection of any Crossword) and I saw a book called Twitterature. About 50 or so of the world's classics told in 'twitter' style. I was slightly aghast, but what can I say. Penguin had published the book. I guess we're in the age where practically anyone can be a published author.

But what cheered me instantly was when I caught glimpse of a book, which I remember reading about on the authors blog. This blog called Waiter Rant (award-winning blog) is a collection of stories from this guy's experiences as a waiter in New York. I read his post about writing a book and then when it was published I remember thinking I would buy it someday, but I certainly didn't think I would see it staring out at me from a bookshelf in Hyderabad. Nice.

Happy New Year in advance. I doubt I'll post again before Jan, though I do intent to publish a new and with renewed determination -- New Year's Resolution list.

Tuesday, December 08, 2009

Reviews, and news

It's December? Wow.

Jim Morrison's Birthday today. Been listening to MJ though.

It was my day off today, I worked the weekend. So booked myself a ticket to a movie -- 1) coz it sounded interesting, and 2) coz I wanted to make sure I wouldn't stay at home all day and work from home. Was very surprised that the cinema was completely full. For a 2:30 afternoon show on a Tuesday afternoon at a Chinese-war-history movie!

Recently, watched a bunch of movies, well, as many as I can in Hyderabad, not a lot of movies come here. :(
1) Ninja Assassin -- very good.
2) Twilight -- much to the chagrin of the beloved, I saw it, liked it (have to admit its pretty cheesy, but what the hell, plenty of lame shit makes its way around).
3) Aajab prem ki galab kahani -- hadn't watched a Hindi movie in so long, and I really went with the intention of seeing a silly Hindi movie to have a good laugh. Unfortunately, it didn't even manage to live up to that very low expectation.
4) Red Cliff. Very very good. In the beginning I was a bit disappointed to hear the dubbed voices -- Indian voices on Chinese faces doesn't work. Would have certainly preferred subtitles. But whatever, excellent movie.
5) Oh, and before that-- This is It! Thoroughly enjoyed it and saw it 3 times, I think, in the cinema, was fun to be in a hallful of Jackson fans, cheering and screaming.

Also been reading and have purchased a stack of books -
1) After Dark -- Haruki Murakami. Nice. Quick. Surreal, as usual. But clean and so well written.
2) Cat's Cradle -- Kurt Vonnegut. Brilliant book. Comical, spiritual, totally weird.

On the pile --
1) The Graveyard Book -- Neil Gaiman. Award winning, new book. Supposed to be a children's story, but I love the guy.
2) Revolutionary Road -- Richard Yates. Had seen the movie, was fab, read a couple of pages and it seems like a must-read. Plus, someone wrote very highly about it a while back.
3) Twilight -- Let's see.
4) Witch Child -- Celia Rees. Just picked off the shelves. Story based in 1600s about the granddaughter of a witch.

Recent updates --
Fiance was in Hyderabad for 2 weeks. We went to Pune to meet the extended family and he had to deal with my grandmother trying to convert him to Zoroastrianism, and grumbling to him about how the price of onions was unbelievably high, and we did a mini-engagement ceremony again.

In other news --
It's cold. The whole city of Hyderabad seems to be wearing cheetah-printed fluffy ear muffs.
The fiance (back in California) says he can see snow on the mountains near the Googleplex office.

Unsaid --
I seem to see Isha in everything. All the movies and books, conversations, interactions, musings, and moments of nothingness.

Monday, October 26, 2009

I dont know

why are you not blogging? why are you in office so late? why have you lost weight? when are you getting married? when is the big day? why are you not coming out? are you saving money? have you become vegetarian? when are you going to bombay? are you moving to california? why are you working on weekends? are you doing your practices? when is tony coming? no photos on IDP? why are you not blogging?

Friday, August 21, 2009

-

. Someone I know attempted suicide a few days ago. Over a job. Painful shortsightedness.
.
. I'm going to California for 2 weeks in early September. Exciting, a whole new life is about to begin.
.
. Halfway through Jack Kerouac's Dharma Bums. Rollercoaster ride of Buddhism and beat poetry, hitch-hiking and California and stream of consciousness rambling.
.
. Feeling fevering, and touched my neck to check, and felt my pulse. The steady, rhythmic beat. The silent mechanism of life that goes on. I'm grateful to be alive.
.
. Saw Public Enemies. Loved it. Playing ridiculous facebook games like Mafia Wars in a retarded way.
.
. I've noticed my attitude towards cigarettes is getting more and more intolerant. It annoys me and hurts me when my friends smoke. I can't stop them, but I dont want to be around people who smoke. Seems to me like it's an act of great disrespect towards life. If suicide is such a terrible act and a crime even, so is suicide in installments.

Saturday, August 15, 2009

time and space

what is this void
what is this rubberband

what is this that slips so fast
with skipping heartbeats

what is this that doesn't move
a thing. an inch. a minute.

time means nothing
so slow
and so fast

space is pointless
so close and yet so far

i give up
swallow me down
incomprehension.

Sunday, August 09, 2009

Kahani Mein Twist Zaroor Aayegi

Filmy expression. Kahani mein twist. 'Twist in the tale.' A phrase that I've said to myself over and over again, with acute disbelief at the twists that have presented themselves to me over the past year. Exactly a year since my life went upside down and, well, I can't really say that I expected any of it to turn out the way it did.

A year of being sober. And aside from maybe two times that I've really felt the urge to sip wine, a whole year of loving being sober. And not missing being tipsy one bit.
I didn't ever think it would be this easy. And, funnily enough, I've enjoyed going out when my friends are drinking, it's very amusing, to say the least, to watch people get drunk and be ridiculous.

A year of Sadhguru. And Isha. Presented to me with impeccable timing, easily the most precious aspect of my life. The most meaningful, and something I hold closest to my heart. Being in his presence, has made me realise what it is possible for me to be and experience. Just the possibility is overwhelming.

A year of this immense feeling of gratitude, clarity, joy and living the moment. A feeling of knowing that whatever life throws, is my own doing, and I can make whatever I want out of it. A feeling of absolute awe about how things turn out, a way of looking over the hurdle to see beyond, a way of not being trapped in momentary pleasures and pains.

Extremely precious.

A year of deepened relationships. A year of touching lives around me in ways I've never before. A year of listening to things I wouldn't have otherwise. Of seeing things I wouldn't have noticed otherwise. A year of saying things I wouldn't have dreamed of.

A year of gifts. Of twists. And knowing that the twists will come. Unexpected. Surprizing. But knowing that they can't shake me.

Tuesday, July 28, 2009

Random Updates, and welcome back.

Such a long time. More twists in the story. Trying to get back into the groove of writing regularly, hopefully, should be easy once I get started. Right? Some random updates -

1. I'm getting married. Soon. 6 months-ish.

2. It's not raining enough. It's July, and doesn't even feel like the monsoon.

3. I've been staying up late at nights - reading the 7th Potter book, and woke up in the middle of the night, seeing figures and dreaming of horcruxes. Dark dark dark.

4. Sadhguru is going to be in Hyderabad on Sunday. Can't wait.

5. I'm getting married. And, that, is definitely crazy.


Monday, June 15, 2009

Sneak Peak

Sneak peak she says.

Yesterday, I was atop Bhongir Fort (for the dozenth time probably) and I got a feeling that it was someone's birthday. Couldn't remember though.

Today, logged onto twitter after days and saw Dooce's sneak peak image. http://twitpic.com/7f49x
It's her baby.

I've been following her blog for years, and the knowledge that her baby is finally born made my heart skip a little beat.

And it skips again now, thinking of how the internet has given me/us such a way. To sneak peak. At someone else's life, someone I'll never meet. A complete stranger. But not really.

Saturday, May 23, 2009

And I crown you..... Princess Zora

Geez, I wanted to have more than 200 posts this year too. And its almost the end of May and our count is a pathetic 50. Sheesh. SHEESH.

Anyway, whats really inspiring this possible spate of blogposts is something I remembered in the middle of the day, a memory of a deeply imprinted and very beloved movie (actually movies) that we used to watch in the summer vacations many, many years ago.

The one single TV channel we had, at that time, had something called Disney Hour, at noon everyday, and for ages, as far as I remember, they screened the loveliest children's shows and movies - I clearly remember He-Man, Lauren and Hardy, Charlie Chaplin, something I remember as 'telegames', and then series of movies - The Frog Prince, Hansel and Gretel, Snow White, Sleeping Beauty, The Beauty and the beast, and oh boy, some of these movies have been stuck somewhere in my head, and my mind in a vague way, all these years.

Mommy had recorded a couple of VHS cassettes and so, a few of these series were immortalized in our heads - watching them hundreds of times.

Today, I found - The Frog Prince. The whole goddamned movie is on YouTube! in 10 parts. Of course, I couldn't stop watching, and couldn't help the little hiccoughs of bliss and tears escape my throat at the appropriate parts. The songs! I sing them unconsciously sometimes! The characters and the dialogues and the tone and actions and dramatic gestures, all down to the way the Prince holds up the arm of Princess Zora when he walks her in, finally. The way she plays with her lucky golden ball, and well, oh boy, I could go on forever.

Yes, silly pieces from my childhood maybe, but excuse me now, while I call my sister and exclaim to her about what I found.

Er, how does this blogging business work?

Boy, its been a while. Can't remember the last time I had such a long break from ze blog. And I'm not sure what I'm about to say on zis post - but a few things have been taking my time and attention.

Working on the weekend - sort of turned the life a bit haywire, but in a nice way mostly - working on Saturday and Sunday is chill and lazy and slack, and then I get to take Tuesdays and Wednesdays off, which is a treat.

Moving apartments soon - moving in with some lovely friends, closer to office and far away from the noise and chaos of center Hyderabad.

Had a mini vacation last week. Gorgeous fun. Wonderful time. Trains and buses and jeeps and doggies and insects, and forests, and rivers and cameras and butterflies.

And well, something that's been on my mind for a while, and I've just not known how to say it - Anandha Ala - the wave of bliss has begun in Hyderabad. Inner Engineering programs across the city, back to back. I have a couple of links that I will share soon.

And that sums up this very tasteless blog update. Guess I need to have these fingers moving again. More often.

Monday, May 04, 2009

Global WARNING

Our gift to mother nature - global warming.

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

I've seen it all



Amazing amazing track. From a movie called Dancer in the Dark.
Bjork acts in the movie, and this song features Thom Yorke (from Radiohead.)

Monday, April 13, 2009

Couchsurfing! Day 1

Thanks to PS for his enthusiastic ranting about couchsurfing, I signed up a week ago and pretty much at once received my first request to host  - a Portuguese woman traveling in India for 2 months, and visiting Hyderabad, requested to be hosted for 2 nights.

With my flatmates away in Goa for the week, and the house to myself, how could I say no?

Filipa arrived Tuesday morning, and after a couple of hours of resting and talking and freshening up, I set her up and ready for a day of sight seeing. Armed with my trusty map of Hyderabad, a list of places to visit in the vicinity of the Charminar area, and vague but hopefully helpful instructions to survive in the city, I saw her board a local train heading to Nampally from Begumpet railway station and went back home to cater to my aching stomach and awaited the arrival of a friend visiting from Bombay. The Shammi himself.

I had some errands to run, and when I came back home, both my guests were home, sitting at the table, talking and chilling. I barged into the conversation - Filipa's day, some talk about yoga, and many, many travel stories.

Something that amused us a lot was Filipa's experience with the local folk. They would usually stop her and directly ask - where are you from?

When she said - Portugal, they'd just scratch their heads, and walk away, not knowing how to take the questioning further.

Some, however, would go on to ask 
- Are you married? 
- No.
- How old are you? 
and then exclaim that she should hurry and get married.

She experimented once - saying 
- Yes, I'm married. 
- Do you have children?
- No.
- Then why did you get married anyway?

No words.

While talkingnit started lightening and a fabulous thunderstorm began. The electricity went off. We sat on my 5th storey balcony, with the nice view, and looked over the sky, exclaiming and excited with the fierce cracks lighting up the sky and thundering down at us.

This went on for a bit, and then Filipa softly said that this was by far the most thunder and lightening she had ever seen in her life. 

It stopped in a couple of hours, and then we went out to dinner to my favourite take-my-guests-to restaurant - Angeethi. Filipa tried the risky jaljeera, and I picked us some great veg food. Shammi was trying to explain to Filipa who Amitabh Bachchan was, and translated the names of the many movie posters on the walls.

Roti, Kapda aur Makaan - food, clothing and shelter
Sharabi - Drunkard
Khoon Paseena - blood and sweat

and my favourite

Kaala Paththar - Black Stone.

Very filling dinner, and then Filipa exclaimed that the mouth freshener that most indian restaurants provide with the bill, saunf, is terrible. I added yes, it does taste like soap, and popped some in my mouth, while Filipa maintained the expression of how-can-you-eat-that-thing on her face. 

Then home and called it a night, with an agreement to laze in late the next morning, and the plan of action being limited to visiting the Hussain Sagar.

Sunday, April 12, 2009

Peace

"When you do not know how to keep your body peaceful, when you do not know how to keep your mind peaceful, when you do not know how to keep your energies peaceful, world peace is just a joke."

_ Sadhguru

He conveys so easily something that is so strong, and will knock you on the head and make you wonder. 

Intimately Detached

holding hands
touching fingertips
tousling hair

letting be.

something intimate 
and special

natural
and free.

talking
telling

letting be.

rubbing noses
tickling toes
blowing kisses

saying bye
see you soon.

Tuesday, April 07, 2009

Half a dozen reasons

to celebrate:

1. My first ever couchsurfing guest is here. From Portugal. With a big yellow bag. 
2. It rained last night, the sky is pink and clean and fresh.. and it's a bit cool - I'm holding my breath and hoping it lasts.
3. I have two days off - today and tomorrow - I had worked the weekend, and my weekend is today.
4. I have a friend visiting from Bombay.
5. My big fat package from Lush is expected to arrive in 48 hours.
6. I have an earworm that I'm loving - Billy Joel's Piano Man, and I sing it very loudly. (which may or may not mean I sing it well.)
7. My flatmates are out of town, so we have the house to ourselves. 

Bonus reason to celebrate: My orange hair is looking fabulous now, I think. 

Definition: (wikipedia)
Earworm - is a term for a portion of a song or other musical material that repeats compulsively within one's mind, known colloquially as "music being stuck in one's head."

Yipes, they also say: Medications that are used to treat obsessive-compulsive disorder or anxiety can alleviate the symptoms of earworms.

Son can you play me a memory.. I'm not really sure how it goes...
but its sad and its sweet, and I knew it complete,
when I wore a young man's clothes...

Sunday, April 05, 2009

10

I'm not sure that I'm really going to finish doing this... I'm sleepy. We was tagged by the Shuunya man.

Have to do something like this.

1 is the number of DSLRs I have lost. Yes. 
2 is the number of times I've coloured my hair red. (= orange sometime later.)
3 is the number of coconut waters I would like to consume in a day. 
4 is the number of times I have been to the Isha Yoga Center.
5 is the number of apartments I've shifted to in Hyderabad.
6 is the number of blogs I write to. (write on, write for?)
7 is the number of songs I can play on the guitar.
8 is the number of children my baby sister said she wanted to have (when she was 6 years old).
9 is the number of  tattoos I would not want to have.
10 is the number of puppies my doggie had had. (Dobermen puppies. Beauties.)

Not tagging anyone, am horrid with them myself.

PS: I wanted to title this post Dix. Which means ten in french. However...

Wednesday, April 01, 2009

Pranav Shah

Meet Pranav Shah. The guy with the funny hair, as he is also known. Or used to be known. Sadly, the lovely tresses have been shed, and a funky short crop of curls now rest on his head.

The hair is legendary. (Legend says that one fellow on a cycle was so taken aback by the sight of Pranav on the street once, that he crashed into a tree and fell down.) (Pranav recollects laughing his heart out on that occasion.) (Pranav is funny, he will make you laugh.)

Anyway. I dunno why I'm writing this post actually. My new favourite hobby is making portrait photos (if I told you the details of what kind of portraits, you wont believe me and think its April fool's joke, so I'll leave it at that.) Does seem like I want to make written portraits too...

Pranav is co-founder of India Daily Photo with me (I still like to take 100% credit, but I'm feeling generous on Fool's day.)

Pranav was in the same college as me. And we became friends when he came to me with a detailed plan and suggested that we make a business of pirated DVDs. (Which we didn't, eventually, just for the record.)

Pranav is one person who I would imagine is capable of doing things that most people would find either impossible or ludicrous, or pointless, and he'd do it with style.

Pranav's enthusiasm and appetite for knowing things is extremely contagious. 

Ok, I'll end this essay here. Hi PS. 

(Photo courtesy a Googler from the bike ride to Sri Sailem. Yash?)

Happy Fool's Day!

I always fall in double in love with Google on April 1st. 

Tuesday, March 31, 2009

Lush Lust

I've narrated this story before here, but I'm not tired of it yet. So...

I had spent three times more than I should have, shopping in SF when I was there in November 2008, and was telling myself, loudly, that that was enough. As I was saying this to myself, I passed this store that ... was just so beautiful. The lights... there was some fragrance in the air... candles... and something fabulously colourful and inviting on display. My feet navigated themselves into the store.

LUSH.

My romance with Lush products is still thriving. Some of the stuff I bought is still around and oh, so well worth all that money.

As we speak, a big fat package is being delivered to a friend who's going to bring it to India for me. Gifts from my cousin brother. Who I very unabashedly passed on my wishlist to. So, yes, I'm lusting for lush.

Just as a demo - I'm going to post examples of what I think is fabulous copywriting. Really after reading, I would buy the stuff just for how they describe it. Full marks for brilliance.

Too Drunk to . . .
is not its full name. Its inspiration was a song by the Dead Kennedys, but specifically the version by Nouvelle Vague played and sung in a groovy 60s giggly style by the cool French group with an extraordinary collection of percussion instruments. Anyway, back to the Emotibomb. This is for the day after you got too drunk It has essential oils of peppermint, marigold, fennel and reviving sweet orange to refresh you, wake you up gently, soothe a sore head and slowly bring you back to life. Just stick one in the shower, turn on the water and stand there - or sit if you can`t manage the vertical - getting drenched until it all feels a bit better. Of course, you don`t have to have a hangover to use one. (At Lush Times Towers, we don`t bother with hangovers. Too busy.) Shower with one of these when you`re already feeling okay and wow! It really gets you grooving.

American Cream
Double Strength Conditioning Cocktail American Cream was inspired by a vision of 1950s US milk bar, bright red-leather-and-chrome, neon-lit cafés where teenagers went to meet each other and drink frothy, fruity, thick, creamy milkshakes. Our fruity, creamy conditioner is what the girls would have used to make their hair soft and strokeable before going out on a date, all dressed up in their bobby socks and circular skirts. The scent of honey, vanilla, strawberries and oranges is so sexy and sweet that dates can’t stay away. If your hair gets a bit messed up, American Cream makes it easy to brush through and smooth out again.


Honey I washed The Kids
The irresistible toffee and honey one. Once you've sniffed it, you've got to have it. On paper it's difficult to portray the full effect of this honeycomb toffee scented soap. Suffice to say that people who fully intended to walk past a Lush shop find themselves unable to resist its tempting, mouth-watering fragrance. They inhale and say 'Mmmmmm' then they exhale and say 'Ahhhhh' then they pick up a big chunk and join the queue for the till.

So yes, I was hanging around on the Lushindia website, and a little bit of fine print made my eyes pop out.

Also opening at shortly at INORBIT Hyderabad.

Isn't that the best news you've heard all day? Now excuse me, while I go away to jump up and down in excitement.
 

Harry Potter Friend - Story 1

I was sitting in a classroom. 'Bhatia's Classes.' This was before my 12th standard exams, I was amidst a group of people who were all aiming to top the university, go to the best colleges, score full marks, etc. They mostly didn't notice me. And I didn't fit right in with the chatter during breaks, and I used to look at the vast class around me and feel like an alien. Hopeless.

Until one day, I noticed that the alien next to me was casting similar hopeless glances to the other aliens. And I slowly looked at her, and felt a tug of hope in my heart.

Maybe just maybe....

I don't remember exactly what I said but I remember it to be like this:

- Do you read books?
- A bit surprised. Yes, I do!
- Have you read Harry Potter?
- Oh yes, I love them.

Her name is Pooja Shah. My first Potter buddy. From that day on, class was fun, and I didn't feel alien again. 

Silly I guess. 17 year old. Harry Potter criteria to make friends? Well, the friendships have stuck. Almost 6 years since.

Harry Potter Friend - Story 2

17 year old me. Sitting on a chair in the first week of the first year of my degree course. Bachelor of Mass Media. At St.Xavier's college, and to me this was like a dream come true - I'd hardly expected to get through to this college.

A boy who almost bounced when he walked, and was holding a big, fat, hard-cover copy of Harry Potter's 'Order of the Phoenix' came and sat down next to me.

Harry Potter was the only boy in my life then. I instantly asked the boy if I could look at his book, took it into my hands and held it, smelled the familiar fragrance. 

- How far have you gotten?
- I'm about halfway through... have you read the book?
- Oh yes... I loved it... you wont believe what happens to Sirius in the end!

He took one look at me, read my face and said in a hard tone - he dies, huh?

Big mouth. Fully dramatic expression I'd had. I felt pathetic that I'd revealed the end of the most exciting book, and he didn't seem too pleased either. My feeble attempts to cover up didn't work.

His name is Shamindra Marc Angelo Francis, and we became friends, lovers, and Harry Potter children.

Midnightey Updates

The karma
of tired eyes

i don't like.

Good night.

Minor Updates:

Discovering the joy and amazement of nude photography. I'm a good photographer.
Watched The Revolutionary Road. Fabulous.
Missing my ex flatmates. Hi Peekaboo.
Drinking buttermilk to beat the heat.

Waiting for next week. Holidays and guests. Did I mention summer is here?

Sunday, March 29, 2009

Dragons on Sunday

I was outdoors in the mid-afternoon heat of Hyderabad summer. Yes, the summer is here, and it's hot.

And then, a huge grey dragon-shaped cloud came and ate away the sun. I could see the sun rays slide around over the edges and nooks and corners of my dragon-shaped hero. And I was listening to Chris Cornell sing Sunshower. Those rays of light did look like a sunshower.

And I felt grateful to a cloud.  

Monday, March 23, 2009

Weekend Weekly

Two awesome weekends. The Sharc-in-Hyd stories maybe narrated later, this is a Bombay weekend special post.

It's nice to be back, as usual, but it was such a complete thrill to be in Bombay again after so long.

The first day, I was lucky to have the house to myself for the day+night, so I lazed for a few hours, ate cheese pav bhaji from the best pav bhaji joint in the world, announced my presence to a few, went met Khushnuma, went to Merwans and ate the yummiest yummies, took a train to Dadar, walked to JJ Mehta, bought my brand new 50mm 1.8f Nikkor lens, took a train to Bandra, hit Carter road, met Aarohi, found Hakim's Aalim, got a fancy haircut, walked back to Carter Road, ate at Crepe Station, ate like a pig, went home, umm, had fun. Nevermind what.

Day 2: Woke late, scrambled eggs, train to Marine Lines, went to the firetemple, met Mommy, walked to college, took photos, got yelled at for taking photos of college, ate pani puri in the canteen, looked at the kids who now inhabit the foyer, took a cab to Colaba, had lunch at the regular 'Food Inn', met Granny, slept for 2 hours at granny's, woke up, walked to the Taj and Apollo Bandar, walked to Marine Drive, saw the sunset, took photos, took a bus to VT, stayed until the light was right, took photos, train to Thane, met the boys at band practice, heard some awesome new tracks, regular Split nonsense, various dramatic announcements, bike ride to Mel's house, met the girls and Kabir, watched the others drink, shared the recent developments that are still surprising me, stayed over at Mel's.

Day 3: Home early, met Dad, saw the family's beloved music concert DVD - Scorpion's Acoustica, spent time with mommy and daddy, ate dhansak, got packed, rushed to bus-stop, saw parts of Om Shanti Om in the awesome-luxurious sleeper bus (we had mini screens on each bunk-bed) and arrived late to Hyd.

Thursday, March 19, 2009

On the go

Running down 11 floors of a building. Had a head-rush of bliss.

Because... am going to Bombay tonight. Haven't been home since October-November-December-January-February-March. 

Rough things-I-want-to-d0-list:

It's Parsi New year tomorrow. So, will do the do.
Eat truckloads of sev puri, pav bhaji, vada pavs.
Take the train to Marine Lines, walk to college with my camera, and live the old life for a bit.
Meet the various girls.
Meet the various boys.

Finally, the big story of the week is, my sister brought news that my parents are beginning to think its time for me to think about getting ready to think about getting settled. Etc. They have heard of a Parsi boy and they want me to 'talk to him on the Internet.' The story has entertained me and friends all week - hearty laughs and guffaws. 

However, obviously, there is a need for me to sit my parents down and explain matters to them. I'm sure their intelligence will start functioning again, after this temporary lapse.

Anyway, time to run. Bombaaaaaay is waiting, calling, dreaming. 

PS: I might be indulging in some new camera gear. Back on Monday.  

Thursday, March 12, 2009

Sharc-triggered-memories

A series of memories get triggered, even if I don't want them to. What else to expect when I'm sitting idle in front of my computer, listening to Iggy Pop, having been blogging for the past hour? The fingers don't stop.

So, a series of memories. I was 18 when I got swept off my just-out-of-convent-school feet by the dynamic boy who was the center of every one's attention, who came to class stoned, who had the guitar during breaks in the foyer, who was a theatre actor, who was making movies, making music, being rebellious and outrageous, and walked me home one day for 2 hours in the rain. Of course I fell madly in love. 

The first time I smoked up, was with him, high in the mountains of Shillong. Under the stars, I got a laughing trip and didn't stop giggling for hours.

I'd never heard of Kurt Cobain, and he sang me the songs even before I heard them. He brought a lot of music into my life. System of a down. Radiohead. Along with the smoking up, and drinking, and staying-out nights.

9 months of a roller-coaster that consumed me completely. And then the ride was over. Rude shock, I thought my life was going to be like that forever and two days. That was the phrase he used to use. Forever and two days.

It was weird. I had classmates come over to me and say that they were so glad that we'd broken up. I couldn't believe what I was hearing. They were happy about my broken heart?

But the next one year, I guess, has made me who I really am today. From the girl who had forgotten who she was and had just become that crazy boy's girlfriend, I discovered photography, cinema, and an ability to walk alone in Bombay for hours, surviving on vada pav, sugarcane juice, watching the sunset at marine drive, buying second hand books at churchgate, and overhearing conversations in the local trains.

It's been a full circle. No matter how much I was hurting, I couldn't be rude to him, I couldn't not talk to him, I couldn't not sit with him and his new girl friend and teach him economics before our exam. But the year that healed happened, the time came where I'd moved far, far along and could look back and be friends without the ache.

But still. It's been 4 years since we ever really sat down and spoke or spent more than 10 minutes together. In these years, our brief conversations have revealed how difficult he's become - his restlessness, his impatience, his inability to sit still for 5 minutes. How strongly he moved into an intense life of more drugs, almost violence, and an absolute disregard for anything that society considers appropriate. 

But anyway. Coming back to the memories triggered. I guess the ones that really still ever haunt me are those of music. The innumerable times I saw him performing on stage, with a madness that matched Kurt Cobain's, of singing with his guitar, forgetting who, where and what. Sometimes I hear his voice mingle in with the songs when I hear them. 

On another note, I wonder if I reveal too much about myself on this blog. I really wonder at times. But then I think of dooce and I feel well consoled. Oh, I love dooce, it was awesome to come back and have 30 blog posts to catch up on. She's fab.

Sharc

I don't think am good at letting things sink in.

I remember when a very dear friend was leaving, and it was possible that I would never see him again, it felt like a dream and not as if it was really happening.

Over and over, same thing.

Tomorrow, I'm going to have a visitor from Bombay. An ex-boyfriend. Who's been more trouble to me than a comfort. I didn't really expect that he would really take up my invitation to visit Hyderabad. But he's booked his tickets and is boarding a bus in 20 minutes. I don't its sunk in that I'm going to see him after all these years. 4 years maybe?

The memories have long faded, and the pain has long, long lost it's sting. But dynamite is dynamite, and this fellow here is certain to come with something that could throw me off the stability that I've slowly built up.

Here's what am saying to myself: I'm going to have a normal weekend, and do the things I need to get done (which includes washing 3 bagfuls of 'white' clothes, and get a haircut, watch a movie with Daya and the gang, and get a firmer grip on my yoga practices) - and this somehow assures me that I'm going to be a not-so-awesome host.

PS: This fellow has a history of making promises and ditching at the last minute. So half of me is really wondering if he's going to land up or not. I guess I shouldn't waste a lot of energy wondering about something that will be apparent in just about 12 hours. 

PPS: We used to call him Sharc. Oh, the stories about him, I could write a book.

PPPS: His hair, at one time, was so long and shabby. I'm a bit concerned about how my roommates will react to his likely-to-be alarming appearance. 

As weird as he sounds, (he really is crazy by most people's standards), I feel slightly confident that I can manage to host him this weekend, and hopefully send him back with a small grain of sanity.

Eat

I miss boiled peanuts, beetroot salad and watermelon.

Note to self: even if everyone you meet insists that you've lost weight and you need to gain weight, overdosing on chocolate results in - sugar high followed by sugar low, and a seemingly permanent sluggyness. Not good idea. 

I bet it's going to take a week for me to be able to touch my toes during surya namaskars again. Amusing. I think I want to go back to samyama diet already. Am going banana shopping tonight. 



Cake

Today I ate cake like a pig. 

Some three chocolate cakes and 1 pineapple cake were floating around in office today. I hadn't eaten chocolate in a couple of months. 

I ate cake like a pig. 

Just for the record. (In case I die of chocolate cake overdose, think of me each time you're about to go for the 12th chunk of cake.) 

Irony

When you're just about make peace and say I love you, your best friend goes offline.

When you dress up after ages for a special dinner, and it gets cancelled.

When you get a terrific cold in the hottest month of the year.

When your phone battery dies when you want to have a long-pending conversation.

When time and space go topsy-turvy and you get stuck in a moment.

That's when you just walk home quietly, sit down and watch your breath.


Monday, March 09, 2009

Glossolalia

Samyama

7 days
1000 people

breathing
silent
screaming
sleeping

bells and gongs
oranges 
watermelon
white

shiva

shining face-meter
just him and I
'you're looking beautiful'

shankaran pillai
tears
laughter
backaches

bleeding nose
lemon and honey

sounds of isha
music
sway
chant

bharathi akka
white
strong
immovable
magnetic

the rustle of his entry
spanda hall
his walk around us
looking-peering-staring
not at us

jokes
oh the jokes

my head
the nonsense 
'bag of karma'

it's over
7 days
samyama

I've been silent today
finding it hard to string 
words

something something something
theeruona bilisthiof pttachuua

10 words for Pranav Shah

16 days at the ashram have zipped by and left me a little breathless. And a little empty. 

I'm blogging right now, rather reluctantly, only because a friend, traveling in a train from Bombay to Hyd is demanding a 10 word update on the blog.

10 words. Hmm, let me see.

The ashram was chaos. First for mahashivrathri, and then in preparation for Samyama. Amazing, amazing chaos. Hundreds of overseas visitors. I got involved in being at the reception for the fanciest accomodation at the ashram, a luxurious conference centre (with 25 rooms) called Nalanda center for two days before Mahashivrathri.

The guests I welcomed during first two days:
Shekhar Kapoor
Pralhad Kakkar
Satya Paul (the designer)
Indian Ocean
and various others I probably didn't recognize, fancy rich people who were the VVIP guests for Mahashivrathri.

Most of these guys were meditators and personal guests/friends of Sadhguru.

The afternoon before Mahashivrathri, when the action was at its peak, we got news that Sadhguru will be visiting Nalanda at 2:00. Hustle bustle. 1:30 was break time for me, but I rushed back from my beloved coconut-water stall so that I didn't miss a glimse of sadhguru.

From a distance I saw his big black Land Rover parked outside Nalanda, he was already there, and I rushed in. There he was, talking to his guests, seeing everything. I slipped in behind the reception desk and stood there, watching, unable to take my eyes off him.

After a few moments of jovial chit chat, he indicated to everyone to sit down. There were already 3 people behind the desk, so I moved to a couch nearby and sat down. Silence.

Silence.

Such a deep reverberating silence. Where just a few moments ago, there had been busy activity and a fair amount of chaos, there was this silence, and I noticed tears running down my cheeks. I told myself, I don't want to cry, damn it, I don't want this to happen. But without a change in my expression, the tears just fell. 

Later I told myself  it's ok, he just blasted us with some super-atomic energy, cause long after he left, I was moving at the speed of light.

Friday, February 20, 2009

Fareyouwell

All my bags are packed am ready to go.
I was wondering what I have left to do.. and I remembered. Goodbye Internet!

Away until March 8. No Internet, no phone.

Until March 8 - Isha yoga, Mahashivrathri, Samayama, velliangiri mountains, peacock calls, oh, the food!

Here's a bit about the Mahashivrathri Celebrations at Isha.

Hmm. I think the silence has arrived!

Love,
Afrin

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Patterns

I LOVE PATTERNS he said.

Imprints. Fine print. Lace print. Blue print.

Finger print.

Patterns of destiny.
Circles of life.. we've been talking about circles
So many things are going around and coming back around.


Patterns
Coincidences? Designs? 

Or designed by something?

And is that something an accident?
Or written down in stone?

Each day.. a suspense story
even as we forget to remember
that it's all a game
and we forget to enjoy

the drama
the cinema
the moment

A Question

Is everything that is unique priceless? Then why do we forget that?

If I offered to gift you something you really wanted, what would you ask for?

If the world is to end tomorrow, what will you do?

If I had just today to live, what would you say?


what will it be?

Should I say all I have to say
before I go away?

The silence program, it is.

I wonder if it will
put a silence
to all I have to say.

I wonder so much
that I don't know what to say.


Affectionate Names

jeeka (mom to me)
jeenu-meenu-jinku (mom to us)
bubblegum (ditto)
princess (me to my loves - yes, even a boy)
chor (me to various)
uncle (me to anyone)
pigeon (me to sister) 
pig-a-ling (sister to me)
mithu bacchu (mom to me)
peekaboo (me to peekaboo)
bubble head (various)
Oye! Hero! 
Daya Singh Daya Sing (daya)

Slightly outrageous pet names: from the old days:

Mellund (Mel who lives in Mulund)
Chont
Jhaat Pulao (don't even ask)
Ball Curry (this one killed me when I first heard it)

 Add some?

For the time being...

While we make small talk about the weather and mailing aliases, you look into my eyes -- searching... so intensely. 

While we make small talk about travel and holidays, I look into your eyes -- so intensely... to show you something.

It's new and important and marvellous and precious. 

And while we hesitate somewhere inside, wondering if the time is right, 
let's make small talk until then, cause, really, I have nothing to hide.

Monday, February 16, 2009

Salt on my nose

The irony of it makes me laugh and cry. It's quite amazing how hormones cause you to do both so perfectly at the same time. 

Here I am, saying to myself... I want to dissolve into nothingness.

And strangely, everything I've decided I want to do, is ultimately to do just that. Dissolve, he says. Nothingness, they call it. How can it be so hard? Arrgh.

To do it joyfully seems to be the trick. Intense, but relaxed. Now where is the darned big red button that says - Press Here To Dissolve Into Nothingness.

Dexter's Lab

I'm walking into a live experiment. I'm a guinea pig. Well, a conscious one. A volunteer, if you want. 

I'm curious too. I don't know what the results will be. I don't know how many people are watching. 

There are likely to be a few explosions. I'm not sure if I'm ready to handle them. Or if you are. I'm not sure if I should walk away.

But I think this one is already underway. There was some intensity today. 

Catalysts. Effervescence. Like my mallu chemistry teacher used to say - yeffervenscence. Let's give it a shot. 

Hmm, and anyway, we're all just piles of chemicals after all. Plus, maybe someone will enjoy the fireworks.
I'm dead in his head. 
Why hasn't my heart stopped?

Am I missing something?

Hell, I know I shouldn't be blogging now. (Anyone noticed? I'm cursing again.) 

Feeling torn. 

I want to throw my hat up in the air and watch it fly over the cliff.
I want to not be here. And not be now. 
Please take me away.

We have assembled inside this ancient and insane theatre to propogate our lust for life and flee the swarming wisdom of the streets.


Thursday, February 12, 2009

Afrin

I wish I had time to write more... brief post this one will be. (Work's been crazy... missed lunch twice in a row... but I've decided... that I love what I'm doing now.)

Anyway. Wanted to say -

I've been renovated. Resurrected. Something happened. Something came back. Something I'd forgotten, or had... suspended... a part of me that I thought I'm better off without.

I don't know what did it... maybe it was the effect of many things. And I realized yesterday, when I was feeling oh-so-new, that it was six months to the day since.. all that happened. Some circle ended... 

Basically, I am intensely and madly in love with life and me. Again. Something came back as if it had never been away and fell cosily into a corner... and I hadn't realized how much I'd missed it.

Anyway. That's all folks. Back to the time machine that's sucking my days away. Good night.

PS: 9 days to go. Wow. Time machine flies.

Tuesday, February 03, 2009

Communion communication

Pinged a few people I haven't in ages.
Facebook wall for some.
SMS for half a dozen.
Couple of phone calls.

Weirdness reigns supreme.

Invented a game on gtalk
(often played)

Let's call each other names. You turnip brain! 

Weirdness on the surface.
Something else within.

Good knight brave night.

Monday, February 02, 2009

Jumble tumble of what's going on

Upsurge, downsurge, insurge, outsurge.
Energies going haywire
emotions coming up
intensity, weirdness.

Its finally building up.
Samayama is about 20 days away.

I'm feeling intoxicated by 
weirdness.
Like I'm stoned.

It's about time.

Am tired of being sick
it doesn't matter anymore.
Eat too much, eat too little
eat too fast, eat too slow.
Can you believe how complicated eating is?
Never thought of it.
Used to be a vada pav for me.

Every morning
cajole myself
gently.
every single morning!
To step into the cold
cold cold
shower.

Looking forward mostly
looking backwards plenty
conflict
but still motion
still progress.

Even if I feel
like am going backwards.

Sometimes sitting is so hard.
Sometimes talking is harder.


Sometimes something
and sometimes nothing.

Thanks for sticking around man.

Thursday, January 29, 2009

Magic and Music

Mister Wonder pinged me a song last week. The Circle of Life from the Lion King. It had been so long...

Since then, I've been singing in my head

hakuna matata! what a wonderful phrase. 
hakuna matata! ain't no passing phase!

and today some songs from The Sounds of Music

How do you solve a problem like Maria? 
How do you catch a cloud and bring it down?

and 

the hills are alive, with the sound of music...

and some songs from Oliver!

You gotto pick a pocket or two!

(great video too)



Tuesday, January 27, 2009

-space-

its a strange tingling

reverberating
with something you can't put a word to.

more intense than magic
more heady than any wine

think of your favourite song
and how it kills you

think of what your stomach feels 
when you're floating kissing someone

think of that feeling
when you're exploding, thrilling

on a mountain top and feeling like nothing before

think of those profound moments of truth
when you know

think of it all, but its not enough

coz I can't explain what it feels like
when i do it right.

Monday, January 26, 2009

Maybe you've seen this before but it's...

...funny. A friend emailed:

The winners of this year's Washington Post's Mensa Invitational -

Readers were to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition:

1. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period of time.

2. Ignoranus: A person who is both stupid and an asshole. 

3. Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.

4. Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.

5. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.

6. Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.

7. Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high

8. Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.

9. Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.

10. Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)

11. Karmageddon: It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.

12. Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.

13. Glibido: All talk and no action.

14. Dopeler Effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.

15. Arachnoleptic Fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've accidental ly walked through a spider web.

16. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.

17. Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you're eating.

18. Frisbeetarianism, n. The belief that, after death, the soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.

Friday, January 23, 2009

Zoozie escapes from cops

"Af, today we ran away from cops! 

Shikha and I were in her car, and we just parked for a minute to go to the chemist and when we came back there was a chain and padlock on one wheel. We'd parked in a no-parking zone. So annoying! And then one man was around, he said that there's a cop who does this often, and that he takes too much money and we should not give him much... So we checked our pockets and only kept about 200 Rs outside, to show the cops when they came... and then this really fat cop came... when I saw him only I thought, oh God, someone loosen his belt! It was so tight that he could barely walk... then he came and muttered something and demanded 400 rupees, we showed him our 150 Rs and told him we were students and this was all we had... but he said that we should make some arrangements and then he went away... and we were like what the hell... and waiting around... he came back in sometime and said.. at least give three hundred.. but we said we only have 200 rupees.. and then he got angry and he was very rude... he gave us his phone number and he said we should call him when we had some money and again he went away... what utter nonsense he was! we called him and told him to come back and let us go at once... and he said get the money... then we just went to the hardware store and bough a hacksaw ... it's no big deal for us.. in college we work in the metalworks lab, so we've used it so many times before... and we started breaking the lock... thankfully it was just a simple padlock... I was keeping guard and an eye out... and Shikha was cutting the lock... we gathered quite a crowd... one small boy was just standing there and staring with his mouth open... and one lady was riding a bike and she also stopped and was looking... and one man started giving us advice.. he said we should put some water.. it would become easier to cut the lock! anything they were saying! then in 5 minutes the lock was cut... and quickly we drove off! it was awesome... and the hacksaw only cost 60 rupees... 

then the cop, he had Shika's phone number.. so after some 20 minutes he called.. we didn't answer only.. I wish I could have seen his reaction when he saw the broken lock we left there for him!... some 4-5 times he called.... and then he started giving missed calls! As if we're going to call him back! When I told mom, she got so worried and said why did you do that? you should have called rusi uncle! but it was so much fun.. as if that fat cop would come running behind us all the way to Loni!

what fun it was, af!"

Zoozie is the baby sister, who is studying Product Design in Pune.

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

My local adventure

I was muttering about how I get home late everyday thanks to the terrific traffic from office to home and then Mr. Shuunya suggested that I take the train from the station close to office upto Begumpet, which is a stone's throw from my home.

Following the idea, this evening, jumped into a cab and got dropped off at Hi Tech City Railway station. Never been there before, there were barely any lights, and I got a whiff of typical railway station food smells - a vada pav and bhajjia stall. I inhaled a deep breath of the yummy smell, and followed the steady trail of people climbing over a slopy incline, then over the tracks and to the platform. 

I needed to buy a ticket. The train arrived. I paused. Thought of my options and the possible consequences of traveling ticketless. Seemed ok. Jumped into the ladies compartment. The next half hour was delightful.

My life recently has been limited to Office - Home - Yoga. It was awesome to be in the midst of a crowd of so many people and listen to the chatter, and admire how beautiful Indian women are, and imagine their lives. I thought of it as a taste of what life would be (and will be soon) when I'm not on the lap of Google provided luxuries.

Then came along a lady selling vegetables, I was thrilled to see these oh-so-familiar sights from my many years commuting in the Bombay locals. Her selling call was quite simple and efficient - not like the annoying bleating of the Bombay hawkers. Can never figure what they say. 

I found myself wishing I knew Telugu. Again.

I then stood at the door... enjoying the cool breeze and looking at the places we were passing - couldn't recognize anything... and all of a sudden there was a loud clank! and a fist-sized stone came hurling and missed me by about a foot and hit the train's body. Was a bit of a shock for a moment, and scary. Then imagined what a miserable nook someone had to be in to get pleasure out of throwing stones at passengers in passing trains. It was a weird thought.

I leaned out a bit and let the wind rush through my hair.

Got off at the busy Begumpet station. Wondered if I would be asked for a ticket by a prowling chap.

Stopped by a book stall. Realized I hadn't bought much for myself (except for plenty of bananas) for ages. And I got me a little book that made me smile when I caught a glimpse.

'Learn Telugu in 30 days' it says bravely. And the mission statement of the Publishing company - "By languages we are many, but as a nation, we are one." Rs 25. How could I resist? 

My word for the day is kukka.

Friday, January 16, 2009

Circles

25 years ago, my mommy visited Hyderabad. She went to a particular fire temple with a burning question on her mind, and there she decided - yes, she would marry my father.

24 years ago, one year after that day, my parents were in Hyderabad, for their honeymoon.

For 21 year of my life, I'd never really thought about Hyderabad, or ever imagined living here. Until Google casually dropped in. And I moved to this city, with my first job, and my first time away from home, to make a new home. Hyd really does feel like home now.

This week, mommy is here with me. And we've revisited some of these places, and I get the feeling that here's where the possibility of my existence began. And here's where life is beginning all over again.

Strange circles. 

Anyway, today begins something that leaves me with no more time to think of the past.
when
you
want
to 
reach
up
you
should
stretch
every
cell

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

Unconditional Love

Definition: mommy.

When you make a phone call home when you're down in the miseries, and mention the nausea and loneliness and the need to be pampered, and she takes the earliest bus and visits for the long-weekend.

So much love.


Monday, January 12, 2009

All the joy in the world is waiting for you to claim it. 

Friday, January 09, 2009

Aargh

Succumbed today.

Felt slightly vain. 

Was impatient during yoga.

Felt the urge to be compulsive.

Stayed up late.

Today = fail.

Wednesday, January 07, 2009

Right now I feel

Misplaced by time and space.

It feels like a gap.

Like it's this void between... two moments of reality. 

Like I can afford to close my eyes. And forget about gravity.


Sunday, January 04, 2009

Coming up

On February 26, 2009, begins Samayama. It happens just once a year. And I'm going.

Samayama: A confluence of the states of dharana, dhyana and samadhi. Referring to the eight day meditation camp offered by Sadhguru where one is tranported to explosive states of meditativeness. Held at Isha Yoga Center, this program is a possibility for those who are willing to shed lifetimes of karma and experience deep states of meditativeness, Samayama and samadhi.

Have been thinking about this for a few months now, and today is the pre-samayama meet, where we will be instructed about the preparation we need to follow for the next 40-50 days before Samayama. Will include diet, and practices.

One of the prerequisites of attending the Samayama program is that one should have completed the basic Isha yoga course, initiated into the Shambhavi maha mudra, and attended Bhavan Spandana program, been initiated into Shoonya meditation, and also attended the Hata Yoga program.

Today, I've finished Hata Yoga which was the last of the programs I needed to attend. I woke up at 4:30 for the past 3 days. Had a cold water bath, and lived on bananas, apples, oranges and dried fruits. 

I feel like I have a new body.

My experiences of each of the program has been unique and powerful. Each time, I experienced something that left me with the sense of 'I never imagined that this would happen, or that this was possible. For me.'  And each program, in a very, very diametrically different way.

The next 50 days are going to be unlike anything before. The core focus of my life is going to be my preparation. And I'm nervous because in one hour, I'm going to be told, in great detail, what this preparation is really going to entail. And I can bet, it's going to take my breath away.

__

Some definitions:

Bhava Spandana Program: Bhava means sensation or feeling, spandana means to resonate, emphatic vibration. This four-day high intensity residential programs is offered as a part of Isha Yoga programs. It is an opportunity to raise one's energy to a higher pitch in the presence of Sadhguru, where participants have the possibility to experience Einstein's theory of relativity: E=mc square, higher levels of consciousness that take one to an experience beyond the limitations of body and mind.

Hatha Yoga: Physical form of yoga involving different bodily postures and practices. Used both as a purification and preparatory step for meditation and higher dimensions of spiritual experience. 'Ha' is sun or heat; 'tha' is moon or cool. Hatha is to balance the positive and negative energies within the energy body.