On the road to somewhere good

I don't even know where to begin. The past couple of weeks, actually months, have been so monumentally dramatic - and today, my life stands 180 degrees from where it was just 15 days ago.

The next few blog posts are going to be pouring out all the thoughts and situations and lessons of life that have confronted me recently.

Going slightly off track, when people over the part couple of years have asked me about why I've not even started the possibly long journey of being a film maker, I would usually reply, 'Oh, am not ready. I've not seen anything in life as yet.' That is definitely changing. I could do with a short break from life's turbulent display of what its potential is.

15 days ago, life struck me a hard blow. I wanted to die. Other people wanted me to die. I didn't think I could ever have a friend again, or look anyone in the eye. I was called names I never imagined I would be called. I had lied. And sinned.

Horrid. Impossible. I've always been an emotional person, and this just broke me. I just knew something drastic would have to be done... I wanted to...

Anyway, to cut a long story short, life struck hard. And as it goes, there's only two things you can do. Either you learn a lesson and try and fix things. Or you give up, and let madness, self pity and depression fill you will endless negatives.

Fortunately, I took a flight home, to my parents, confessed my heart out, and surrendered to them. Bit by bit, they drew me a picture, from their love and wisdom, of how life goes, and how it is time for me to set things correct.

Today I can see how bad my condition really was. It struck me that I've been living without rules all these 23 years. No rules. No faith in anything. No ambition. Just a carefree, careless attitude - slowly turning into a selfish and unproductive attitude. 23 years of jumping without thinking.

It had to end sometime. And it has. So many things are changing, that its still overwhelming. It's hard.

Anyway, there's a lot more that I want to share about this strange journey. Over time, I have a lot to write. But to reveal the key changes -

1. I have found a simple and complete belief in God. I will explain.
2. I have given up alcohol. Something I never imagined I would ever want to.
3. I'm spiritually reformed, and setting a disciplined life with simple mottos - goodness, honesty, and love to everyone.

It seems drastic and utterly unbelievable for anyone who knew me. But such is life.