Think that

This is a ‘heavy’ moment. Emotional, I mean. I’m just back from a wedding. I’m slightly high on whisky. I’ve met Mel today, for the first time, since being in Bombay for nearly 2 weeks. I can’t comprehend my immense love and admiration for him. I’m listening to Pink Floyd. And I was nearly in tears a minute back with a terrific ache for my beloved lost camera. What did I do to deserve to lose it? And how much longer do I have to wait to get a new camera?

Coming back to life.

The past 2 days, it has slowly dawned on me, have been full of conversations and exposures that are giving me a great insight and direction about what I should be doing with my life.

When I’m talking to Brad about what his life and work is like in London, it seems to me, that it would be so difficult to replicate and create that energy and work and interest and circuit here, in India or Bombay even. Of concepts and intellectual spaces and arts revolving around them.

But yesterday, in one of our conversations, Brad said something, that shook me, and hit me, as I mentioned before, a pure moment of truth. About only me, but still.

He was telling me stories about New York and a music concert he’d attended, and people he knew, and I said that I was so frustrated about how much I was missing out… my life here seems so … pointless and vacant. And Brad said, ‘You could be in New York, and still missing it all out. It’s not easy to know what’s happening, even about things that interest you.’

And I wondered, but I realized it’s true. There’s so much probably happening, that I don’t have the remotest idea about. And things that I would probably love to be aware of, but am not.

When Brad was talking to the boys a couple of days ago, when we went out drinking, he told them, that it was important for them to have a strategy. To get them to where they wanted to. He said it was terribly important that people know that they performed somewhere, rather than people attending the shows. It’s all about the buzz and the talk. That’s the only way to gather around you an energy of people who like and admire and are interested in what you do.

It makes sense.

I’m still terribly vague in my head about where I really want to go.

But, to complete this interesting progression in my mind, this revealing circle of ideas and moments of pure truth - today, at the wedding I met someone who sort of gave me a complete spark to confirm what I’m thinking really makes sense.

Anuja Ghosalkar. Known her since my college days with being president of the film club. She teaches the film course at a college in Bombay, and along with that, has worked on quite a few research papers about film (its history, etc) and is now curating festivals, and incidentally mentioned experimental and conceptual art, which is so close to what I’ve been exposed to through Brad, that it was amazing to hear it from someone in Bombay, and based in Bombay.

We spoke a bit, and she was thoroughly kicked about Google Maps, and its super potential.

I’m glad another person agrees that Google is a great place for me to be right now, and my time with film will come, and this time with Google, will prove (possibly, and hopefully) to give me an interesting road to film, eventually.

I’m game for that.

Anyway, Pink Floyd is so calming now, and I have a early morning bike ride to be ready for.

Nice. We still don’t know where we’re riding to. Will be referring to a road guide in the morning, and then decide which way we want to steer towards. Sounds right, that does. Pretty much the way I go through life.